Angels, Devils, and Ipods
by blackcatgirl
Summary: Crossover from 'An Angel, A Devil, And the Akatsuki' and 'And It All Comes Down To The iPod'. On the run for over a year, Mari stumbles one night into a house filled with a gang of cosmic impossibilities, a cold bitch with a bad temper, and an overly sweet and helpful girl.
1. My Latest Good Decision

Hello! Blackcatgirl here. This story is an alternate version of my story and Amaya Sakaruta's. Sort of like a crossover. Or a spin-off, take your pick. It's a collaboration, we're both working on it, so there are differences in the writing style. The credit is shared by both of us, but Mari belongs to Amaya Sakaruta, and Tenshi and Akuma belong to me. Read our stories if you want to know what's going on._  
_

Enjoy!

* * *

_Aw, shit, this sucks, _I grouch to myself as I stumble through the mud in the pitch-black darkness. I've been walking practically all night; the clock in the douchebag's car said 10:23 when he...well, when I deemed it necessary to make him pull the car over at gunpoint. Yeah, I'm like the most grateful, pleasant hitchhiker ever, huh? Well, what'd he expect? At any rate, I'm just glad things didn't turn out worse. I never used to hitchhike for this exact reason, but I have a gun now, so I decided to risk it.  
As you can see, I make GREAT decisions.  
Anyways, I've been walking for hours since then; my feet are getting numb and my skin's cold despite my black baggy cargos and hoodie. I'm just glad I stole some leather boots a while back, if I was still wearing those shitty converses They Who Shall Not Be Named gave me, I'd probably already have frostbite.  
Sorry if I'm confusing you. The point is, if I were to describe myself in one word right now: shitty. I haven't eaten since dinner yesterday, haven't showered in a disgustingly long time, and haven't truly rested since August 18 of last year.

My name's Mari Sui; I'm a runaway.

And a damn good one, too.

Just then I trip on a tree root, sending me sprawling into the mud in front of me -ever graceful. I manage to keep my face from hitting the puddles, but my elbows and knees are covered in mud. And then, just because the universe hates me, I hear thunder roll across the sky, meaning it's about to start raining again. I groan out loud, and a single thought crosses my mind:

_My life sucks._

I shake my head, snarl, and force myself to get back to my feet and keep moving forward, ignoring my bleeding knees and elbow. No self-pity allowed, especially not if it slows me down. _Becoming a fourteen-year-old fugitive really did wonder for my self-discipline_.

I can smell the rain in the air. Man, I really should've paid attention to where I was running to, and chosen someplace where it DIDN'T rain constantly. Don't get me wrong, I love storms and all, but it really SUCKS to be homeless in the rain.

I look up from the ground as I start hearing raindrops on top of my head, and my mood automatically improves: there's a house! A huge, practically-a-mansion house, right up on the horizon, hidden from trees and -HOLY SHIT! No lights on! Rich people not here, hey hey! I get to eat FOOD!

And get out of this stupid rain.

I grin and make my way towards the house, planning what I'll do: Pick the backdoor lock, if I can; failing that, pry a window open; if all else fails, I can break the door down and fix it later...if I feel like it. Only, what if the rich people aren't gone, just sleeping?

I'm closer to the house now. Nah, it looks abandoned. On the off chance there is anybody there, I'll just run for it...pull a knife or my gun if I have to, although that'll complicate things. Bringing a deadly weapon into a break-and-enter gets the cops there like _that, _and I'm facing something a little worse than a social worker if I get caught. But I'm not worried. If they were there, they'd leave the porch lights on -that's the number one way to keep thieves away.

_I'm more worried about ghosts, _I think somewhat jokingly as I scale the large iron gates surrounding the property, although it's difficult because the rain's making it slippery. _Big old mansion like this? It looks like I'll run into the ghost of a bunch of serial killers or something. _

Aw, whatever. I finally wiggle over the top and swing my body around, letting myself down the other side and falling ungracefully on my butt. I'm breaking in, serial-killer ghosts or not.

I grin to myself as I walk toward their back door, planning out the caper: First, I'll go to the kitchen and eat everything in sight. Then, I'll steal some clothes and shower until the layers of filth are off my body. Then, I'll climb into some cushy bed and sleep like a baby. The rest of the plan, I'll determine tomorrow morning.

I'm in luck! The lock on the back door is totally within my capability to incapacitate. Lock = picked!

I'm grinning like an idiot, feeling quite victorious, when I smugly push open the giant, heavy door-

-to see an apathetic-looking redhead with brown eyes and crossed arms standing right in front of me.

I stand there, staring, for a full three seconds, the epitome of a deer in the headlights. I could swear I've seen him before, but I just can't place it...

Holy shit.

HOLY FUCKING SHIT.

_Oh shit! He's not just some rich ginger! _I realize, swallowing with dread. _He's...but no, he's a fictional character! He can't be...! _

A small, sinister smile creeps onto his face. "You do realize you've made an enormous mistake, don't you?" he asks conversationally.

_He totally is! _I clear my throat. "Uh...I'm gonna have to go with, yes," I say, hardly aware of what I'm saying.

He takes a half-step toward me, startling me out of my state of shock. I jump backwards, stumbling off of the porch, just barely managing not to fall down, before turning and running as fast as my feet can carry me-

...For about two and a half seconds.

* * *

Sasori quickly caught her by her backpack and hauled her inside. She'd seen him. She could not be allowed to leave.

He ignored her kicks, punches, and rather futile attempt to bite his arm. Her bag fell on the floor, and he kicked it away. He slammed her against the wall, and she screamed and thrashed harder, trying to scratch him. Her nails raked down his arm, ignored. He grabbed some twine and methodically bound her arms behind her back, then stuffed a rag in her mouth to silence her. Tenshi would not be pleased if she was woken up in the middle of the night by a random thief.

This particular thief was somewhat odd. She was homeless; Sasori could easily tell by her muddy, unwashed clothes, ripped in many places, her greasy black hair bound in a high ponytail with bangs covering one eye, and the grime smeared on her skin. What made her odd was how old she was. She looked to be roughly the same age as Tenshi and Akuma_. 'A runaway?' _Sasori thought. She glared at him murderously, screeching insults through her gag and trying to kick him into submission. She was certainly feisty.

Well, it didn't matter. He tossed her in the closet.

"Stay there and behave yourself." he said. "You'll be dealt with when Tenshi wakes up. Make yourself comfortable, that might be a while."

He slammed the closet shut and returned to his usual spot on the couch, to entertain himself with random late-night shows. The thief kicked at the doors for a while, then stopped. Sasori turned the TV on, sound carefully toned down, and settled in for the night.

* * *

Fuckedy fuck.

"I _would _pick the house where a cosmic impossibility was taking place to try and break into," I mutter, to myself, since I doubt anyone would be able to hear me through the closet door. Sasori tied me up and dumped me on the ground inside the closet; at the moment I'm using some random fallen coat as a pillow. Dick. Couldn't he at least have given me more than four square feet of room to be a prisoner in? Well, I guess I should just be glad he didn't kill me immediately. Especially since the screaming and scratching and struggling probably pissed him off -oh, wait, he's a puppet, he can't feel anything anyways.

HOLY SHIT, he's a puppet. This is so fucking trippy. My mind is racing, trying to comprehend what's going on...but at the same time, it's not really that hard to believe. I've never really been one to stay in denial for long. Especially since at this point it's a matter of life and death for me. It's impossible, yet it is happening, so I have to just suck it up and go with it.

At any rate, Sasori told me that they'd "deal with me" in the morning, once someone named Tenshi was up...whoever that is. I would've asked him, but he'd gagged me.

I wonder, should I sleep? This is kind of a horrible time to be unconscious, tied up in a stranger's house with a serial killer out prowling around -and, in all likelihood, several other serial killers. But then again, if any of them wanted to kill me, my being awake wouldn't really help keep me alive that much longer, would it? And whatever's going to happen tomorrow, if I'm sleep deprived I won't be able to handle it as well. Whether I need to fight, run, or just think straight, I'll need to have my rest. But I don't know, I think I'm a little too pumped and, frankly, scared shitless, to be able to get to sleep. Maybe I'll just sit here and wait for mor-

Zzz.

NEXT MORNING**-**

The two of us stare each other down from across the room, sizing each other up; me on the floor, the girl named Tenshi in a chair. She's a girl about my age, a bit smaller than me, with ash-blond hair streaked with red, cold gray eyes, and a mouth twisted like she ate something sour. Her clothes consist of jeans and a black Linkin Park shirt. It's funny, I use to have red streaks in _my _hair, too.

The Akatsuki are spread out over the room. Itachi is leaning against the wall, looking all cool, while Kisame stands next to him and grins toothily at me. Kakuzu sits at the table, barely sparing me a glance, staring intently at the screen of a laptop. Hidan, not wearing a shirt, sits on the back of the couch, Deidara in the armchair, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees. Sasori stands close to Tenshi, unmoving, staring at me with his usual stoned look. On Tenshi's other side is a small, thin girl with long brown hair and brown eyes, but I don't pay any attention to her for now. I size up the Akatsuki, how they look a lot less threatening dressed in second hand jeans and random novelty t-shirts. I don't let it affect me. I don't forget that they're murderers. I notice that not all of the Akatsuki showed up. Pein, Konan, and Zetsu are missing, which is good for me.

I turn my attention back to Tenshi.

Our postures are almost identical; crossed arms, narrowed eyes, both tense and on the alert. Yet we're still total opposites; I'm glaring at her in anger, wired and ready to fight my way out or run at a second's notice -while she's regarding me distastefully and condescendingly, like I'm the street urchin caught in a crime and she's the goddamn judge deciding what my penalty will be.

My lip curls up in a snarl. Already I don't like this chick.

"What's your name?" she asks finally.

"Eat shit and die." I tell her immediately. I'm not saying my name, they'll report it to the police and then I'm screwed.

"Nice name, EatShitAndDie."

I narrow my eyes more. _Dammit. "_You _know _what I mean, man."

"Fine." she shrugs. "How old are you?"

I stick my tongue out at her.

"Five years old, apparently."

Alright, fuck this superior-acting bitch and her stupid, sarcastic, monotonous voice. I don't have to sit here and talk to her, she's probably just buying time while someone else calls the cops.

"Look," I say through gritted teeth, "Why don't I just leave? Problem solved. You'll never see me again, and we can both go back to our own lives."

"I don't think it's gonna work out," she tells me, resting her chin on her fist and continuing to look at me like she couldn't care less if she tried. "I'd be willing to bet that Pein isn't going to be thrilled having you, someone who knows they're here, prancing around where he can't get his hands on you."

My mouth drops open slightly. "Whaddaya think I'm gonna do, go call the _cops?"_

"Why wouldn't you?"

"I-I'm a runaway, duh," I answer, just barely saving myself from telling her that I am not unknown to the police.

"And that's the only reason." she tells me skeptically.

"Yeah," I answer, trying to sound questioning, like, why wouldn't it be?

Tenshi regarded me suspiciously for a second, then groaned, closing her eyes and rubbing her temples. "I don't have time for this . . . "

I scowl. "Well, gee, I'm sorry _you're _not having a good day," I say sarcastically.

She opens her eyes to glare at me, the tilt of her head casting shadows over her face. "Excuse me?"

"_Ex-CUSE me?"_I mock.

"What was that?" she asks, all dangerous. Ha, looks like she's not as aloof as she tries to act.

"Oh, that was me mocking you," I answer gleefully, starting to enjoy myself a little. "Pay some more attention, maybe?"

She narrows her eyes at me. "You're really pushing it, you little brat. You've just about worn out your welcome."

"Swell!" I say, smiling a big, fat sarcastic grin. "So I'll just be going then!"

"Already told you, not gonna happen."

"Looks like you're just gonna have to deal with me then, aren't you?"

I wouldn't describe the next ten seconds as a staring contest, as much as the two of us mutually trying to melt the other's head with our eyes. What's her deal, anyway? She acts so superior and high-and-mighty, like I'm nothing but a pest, and then says she's not going to _allow _me to leave? And then, when she tries to push me around and I don't just roll over and die, acts all pissed off about it? She needs to get the fuck over herself!

Although neither one of us speak it, I have a feeling the same thought went through both of our minds: _Game on, bitch. _

We keep on glaring, neither of us saying anything. I'm actually debating whether I could beat her in a fight (I'm at least three inches taller, but she seems pretty hardcore), when I hear quiet chuckling.

I turn my head to look toward the source and see Deidara (just FYI: it is very, very strange to see a supposedly fictional character in real life, in a relatively normal setting-seriously, he's wearing a SpongeBob t-shirt), looking at me, and then Tenshi, laughing.

"What are you laughing at, man?" I ask threateningly.

"You, hm," he says, snorting.

"What, exactly, is funny about _her?" _Tenshi asks him acidly.

"Bitch fights are always funny," Hidan says.

"You're a dick." I tell him bluntly.

"And you're a smelly homeless bitch."

"Cuntmuffin."

"What the fuck?"

"Both of you, shut up!" Tenshi snaps.

"Fuck you!" me and Hidan say at the same time, resulting in an awkward silence and yet another stare down. Although I'm not really sure who I'm supposed to be glaring at, so I alternate between Hidan and Tenshi.

Tenshi regards me angrily. "You know, I could make your life very, very hard if I felt like it, and my patience is just about to run out. Now, stop screwing around and tell me your name."

I glare at her intensely. "Mari," I say shortly, since even I can tell I'm at a disadvantage here. It looks like all of them are, for some goddamned reason, listening to Tenshi and taking orders from her, meaning if she told them to they would stab me or something like that. I'm a good fighter, but nowhere near good enough to face off professional killers. For the time being, I'd better at least pretend to cooperate. _This isn't over yet, though, _I tell her silently.

She smiles, for the first time since I've been here, and I don't think I've ever seen a smile look less friendly -even Sasori's. "Kisame, look through her stuff."

_I hate that bitch, I fucking hate her! _I think, as Kisame grins at me and grabs my stained old backpack and goes through it. Kakuzu leaves his post at the computer and rummages after Kisame's done. He takes the little cash I have.

"Hey! Not cool, man!" He glares at me and goes back to his seat to count my cash.

"You are quite poor, aren't you?" he says once he's done.

"Well fuck you too!" I snarl. "Gimme my money back!"

"She mainly has knives and lighters. There's this, though," Kisame says, holding up my handgun and looking at it in confusion. I turn my attention back to him.

"What the fuck is it?" Hidan asks, grabbing it. "How do you use it?"

"Here, I'll show you," I say casually, holding out my hand for the gun, Hidan turning to give it to me. Dumbass.

"No," Tenshi says swiftly, smacking both of our hands so that the gun goes skidding across the floor, to be picked up in a flash by Sasori. He returns to her side and hands her the gun. She checks it, and unloads it smoothly, like she knows what she's doing.

"Dammit."

"You fucking bitch!" Hidan complains, rubbing his hands.

"Why do you have..._eight _lighters, hm?" Deidara asks me, counting them.

I shrug. "Do I need a reason?"

He grins at me.

"I'll be taking those," Tenshi tells me, pocketing them.

"Yeah, because those are the only ones I have. Dream on."

She holds out her hand. "Hand them over."

"Bitch, please."

She narrows her eyes at me, and probably is about to press the matter, when the brown-haired girl speaks up. "Just let it go, Tenshi, it's not like she's gonna burn the house down or anything."

"Well, of _course _not," I respond, intentionally a little too innocently.

Tenshi glares at me again. Yep, she's getting pissed off now, I think with satisfaction. While it's probably not in my best interests to make her dislike me, at this point I just want to do anything I can to antagonize her, because she's a bitch. At any rate, she seems to listen to her friend, because she lets the matter drop.

I turn my attention over to the brown haired girl, to scope out the girl with such an effect over Tenshi. She smiles at me warmly, throwing me off completely. How can she be so nice under these circumstances? I half-smile back at her, wondering if I should allow myself to like her or not, and notice that Tenshi tensed slightly when I turned to look at her friend. _Protective much? _

"Don't mind Tenshi," Akuma starts sweetly, apparently taking eye contact and a sort-of smile as a green light for conversation. "She's just hostile by nature. Oh, and you can call me Akuma. Pleased to meet you!"

Tenshi gives her an annoyed look. I decide to go ahead and like Akuma. "Is she now?"

"Yeah, but she's actually really nice once you get to know her."

"Somehow I doubt that, man."

"If you don't mind, I _am _still in the room." Tenshi says irritably.

"Anyways," Akuma presses on, before I can make a that's-what-she-said joke. "It doesn't have to be like that. We _could _help you, y'know."

I look at her suspiciously, hoping despite myself that maybe she means it, although I know it can't be true. It never has been before.

"You could stay here until they find a foster home for you." she offers.

I narrow my eyes, my face hardening. Gee, how _helpful_. I knew it; they don't understand, not even in the slightest. _As soon as I get an opportunity, I'm out of here. _

"Why are you living like this, anyways?" Tenshi asks me coldly.

I glare at her. "Mind your own business."

"Aren't there people out there to help runaways?" Akuma asks, sounding all concerned. "Couldn't you just have gone back? You know, get some help? That's what social services are for, isn't it?"

"I _know _of the existence of social services," I snap. "If I wanted to be a part of the system don't you think I already would be?"

* * *

I sighed and rubbed my temples, again. This was tiring. First thing in the morning, I have to deal with a smelly, homeless, foul-mouthed bitch breaking into my house and tracking mud all over the clean floors . . . even if it was Akuma's house, things need to be clean! And here she was, stinking up the living room. I would have gladly kicked her out, but she knew that the Akatsuki were here. I couldn't risk it. And she was so god-damned obnoxious! And loud! My head was starting to hurt.

"So, you want to stay away from the system that badly?" Akuma asked, puzzled. "It can't be _that _bad."

Mari's mouth twisted. "You have no idea."

"This conversation is moot." Itachi spoke up. "We can't let her leave."

"Why the fuck not? I won't call the cops!"

"He's right." said Kisame. "You're a security risk, kid. Sorry." He gives her another one of his toothy grins.

"I have an idea," I said. "Why don't we Sharingan her ass and leave her in a ditch somewhere?"

Silence.

"_Tenshi_!" yelped Akuma.

Mari glared at me.** "**Bitch."

"That would solve all our problems . . ." said Kisame. "We wouldn't even have to bother Pein over this." Itachi nodded.

"Let's get it the fuck over with then! I'm fucking hungry, it's nearly lunch time!"

"Let's put it to a vote then." said Kakuzu. "All in favor of Tenshi's suggestion?"

"Does it fucking matter? She's the one calling the shots around here." said Hidan. He raised his hand anyway.

They all raised their hands. I smiled.

"Fuckin' shit!" Mari complained, jumping to her feet.

"Okay then. Itachi, you're up."

He approached Mari, and was about to activate his Sharingan when Akuma rushed in front of her.

"No!" she yelled. "No, no, no! Back off! Back off, now! I'm not letting you do this!"

I got up and grabbed her arm, dragging her into to kitchen. She and I needed to talk.

"Don't do anything till we get back. Keep an eye on her." I told Itachi. He nodded.

Once in the kitchen, Akuma started babbling.

"You can't just do that! You can't throw her out like that! That's mean! Don't you have any compassion at all?"

"I feel like we've had this conversation before."

"We have! I want to help Mari! She's nice!"

"How in the world did you arrive at _that _kind of conclusion?"

"I can just tell! Please let her stay! She won't be too much trouble!"

"Akuma, that's not possible. How long do you intend to keep her here? She doesn't want to go back into the system, and she can't live with us forever. Our parents will come home! And that's setting aside the issue of the nine criminals who _are _living with us! I have enough trouble handling those freaks, I do not need another annoying bitch shooting her mouth off in my house!"

"Technically, it's _my _house."

"Who cares! Think a little, Akuma!"

She huffed angrily. "I don't care. I want to help her."

"What makes you think she even _wants _your help?"

"Hey, Tenshi, hm?" Deidara came into the kitchen. "You should probably know, we can hear everything you're saying, hm."

I stared at him for a moment. I grabbed a knife, and threw it at his head.

"Just, thought you should know, hm." He strutted out of the kitchen.

"Fuck you, blondie!" I yelled.

"What'd he ever do to you?" whined Akuma. "Stop throwing knives at people!"

"Oh, don't get me started."

"So, can we keep her?"

"Akuma, she's not a cat. And no."

"You're damn right I'm not!" Mari shouted from the living room.

"Shut the hell up," I snapped.

Akuma sighed. She knew I wouldn't cave. There was only one thing she could do. Her face took on a serious look.

"Angel, if you care about our friendship at all, you'll do it for me."

Damn. There was nothing I could say to that. I face palmed, rubbed my temples, stomped back into the living room, stood over the smelly bitch that had decided to invade my house, and said,

"Fine. You're staying right here. We won't call the cops, we won't make you crawl back into whatever shitty situation you crawled out of in the first place, we won't Sharingan your ass and toss you out. Basically, you're living here now. I don't care what you think about it. If you try and run, I'll set Sasori on your ass, and trust me, it won't be pretty. But before we take you to Pein, could you, please, for _the love of God_, take a bath?"

She gave me the middle finger -as if I didn't already see enough of that from Hidan. "I'd like to see you live on the streets for a year and a half and smell like a goddamn rose, man!"

"Well, you're not going to, because _I _have a house."

"You just have an answer for everything, don't you."

"Damn straight."

She gritted her teeth. "I think I'd prefer the Sharinganed-and-left-in-a-ditch plan to this one, man."

"I think I already explained to you that I don't care. And stop calling me 'man'."

"No, man." She crossed her arms. "I'll speak however I want, man."

"You sound stupid."

"You sound like a bitch."

"TAKE A BATH!"

"FINE!" She grabbed her now-empty backpack and stomped out of the room. Little brat.

* * *

Review!


	2. Laying Down The Rules

Chapter 2 is up. Review!

* * *

Alright, I'll admit it: I've never had more trouble turning on a shower in my entire life.

_The damn thing has like five different knobs! _I gripe to myself as I fiddle with the showerhead in exasperation. I mean, I _could _go ask for help, but that's not an option for obvious reasons. I'll be damned if I give Tenshi another excuse to look down her nose at me -as if she _needs _one.

I do eventually get the shower to an acceptable temperature, but before I step in I take a few paranoia-fueled precautions to make sure the few possessions I carry on me aren't stolen while I'm showering. I wrap the three lighters I have hidden in my bra and combat boots in layers of TP and place it on the side of the tub where they hopefully won't get too wet, throwing the small knives hidden in my boot and on my waistband next to them.

I step into the steaming hot water and begin massaging my hair, watching dirty water trail down my body and into the drain. I grimace at the sight. _Wow, I really am filthy, _I think, slightly ashamed. Although it wasn't necessary for Tenshi to make _that _many comments on the subject. I mean, does she really think there are just free showering facilities left and right, available for use to your typical hobo?

I snarl at the wall. Usually other girls my age -on the rare occasions I've had cause to speak to them- can't succeed in truly getting under my skin, but it looks like Tenshi won the gold frickin' star. She acts like she basically owns everyone, and can tell me what to do constantly -I wouldn't have minded telling her my name and taking a bath if she hadn't acted so commanding about it! And she's constantly holding the whole "you're-homeless-and-I'm-not" thing over my head. And she's a bitch! A spoiled, twisted, controlling, cruel, uncaring, sadistic, _bitch! _"Sharingan her ass and leave her in a ditch", huh? I mean, I guess that would be better than my current situation -at least I'd be free, and not under the same roof as dangerous serial killers and a world-class bitch- but I would've assumed the guy I stupidly hitched a ride with had somehow drugged and raped me. Hell, I could've actually been raped and have had some crazy slit my throat...

Speaking of which...what's with Akuma (I'm pretty sure that's her name, I heard it when Tenshi was making her spirited argument against compassion)? Why did she stand up for me like that? I was less confused about the existence of the Akatsuki. "She's nice"? What the _hell _goes on in her brain? Tenshi was right on the money there, I have no idea how Akuma came to _that _conclusion. The nicest thing I'd done was insult her friend rather than her, and only because Akuma was being unreasonably nice to _me. _

_I can't believe I got saved by a chick in a Hello Kitty shirt, _I think miserably as I shampoo. I also can't believe Tenshi fell for the "if our friendship means anything at all" line . . .That's the single gayest thing I've ever heard.

At any rate, I have to grudgingly admit that I now _owe _Akuma. Even if it might've ultimately turned out better for me to have had my memory erased and wake up miles from here, she was still undeniably trusting and sweet to me, when I don't deserve it in the slightest. She assumed the best of me immediately, rather than taking the more popular what I like to call "Tenshi" reaction; shock, disgust, suspicion, and finally blind hatred. I could really respect someone like that . . . that is, on the off chance her kindness is genuine.

In my experience, the people who act nice are just after something. The trick is to take advantage of that phony kindness to its fullest, and then beat it before they try to . . . take what they want in return.

But for all my paranoia, as hard as I try I can't find any kind of ulterior motive for Akuma.

_I won't take advantage just yet, _I decide, _but possibly even more than the Akatsuki, I need to keep my guard up with her. _Kind people have a way of crawling their way into my heart and taking up root there, and that won't do. I need to leave the very _second _I get an opportunity, and if I'm slowed down by being sentimental, it'll only get me screwed over. I travel light. It'll be hard enough to find a window to escape, what with the Akatsuki hanging around.

Speaking of the Akatsuki . . . I start to realize just how far I am behind enemy lines. What the _hell? _HOW is this real?! I'll be honest, I have fantasized about meeting them, but in reality this is not a good thing -not at all. They're hardened, cold-blooded killers who wouldn't hesitate to kill me with a smile on their faces. It's like something out of a cliché fanfiction. All I can really gather on the situation is that Tenshi, inexplicably, seems to be in charge. I guess if it keeps her and Akuma -and, by association, me- alive, it's a good thing, but I can't believe that the infamous, badass Akatsuki, my former idols (for about a year in the fifth grade) for the simple reason of being seemingly more hardcore than Chuck Norris, are taking orders from a bitchy teenager.

_Shit just keeps getting weirder and weirder. _

I end up taking a very long shower, for multiple reasons (to spite Tenshi, to savor the feeling of my first shower in two months, to be positive no more blood and sweat and dirt and gunk is on me, but most of all because I have a feeling this might be my best opportunity for a while to think out my game plan) I probably would've stayed in there until the water ran cold, were it not for-

"Hey, Mari!" Akuma's voice chirps out of nowhere. "What kind of clothes do you like?"

"What the fuck!" I practically jump out of my skin. _She's not talking through the door! _

"Well, you don't seem like the girly type-"

"_I'm in the shower you freaking psychopath!" _

Akuma giggled -yes, she _giggled. _"I know that, I just thought you might want some clean clothes . . . your, um, other ones are in the washing machine."

I poke my head out of the shower curtain, keeping it tightly wound around my face, to see her standing half-out the bathroom with the door closed as much as possible. "So, basically, I have no choice in the matter?"

"Nope!"

"Peachy," I respond, retreating back into the shower. "I don't care, as long as it's black, man."

She giggled _again. _"You sound like Tenshi."

I grit my teeth. "Well, thanks for _that _glorious news. I do believe I've never been more flattered in my entire life."

"Whatever you say, Mari . . . I'll be right back."

I hear the door close, then bang my head against the wall. _Why me?_

Ten minutes later I'm in Akuma's bedroom -which is surprisingly plain- cross-legged on the floor in black cargos and a Metallica T-shirt, brushing my hair with a hairbrush Akuma lent me. She's happily chattering away about how she's a huge Akatsuki fan and her room's only this plain because Tenshi made her throw away all her Akatsuki merchandise (and you _listened?) _and about how _nice _Tenshi is once you get to _know _her (I'm sure) and how _nice _and _funny _the Akatsuki have turned out to be (this is about when I decide that Akuma has a very skewed definition of "nice") and how Tenshi's _real _name is Angel (somehow) and how maybe she should give _me _a nickname in Japanese, _too-_

"Okay, for one: I hold up a hand, stopping her, "'Mari' already means 'rebellious' in Japanese, so my parents beat you to the punch, man."

"Really? That's so cool!"

I shake my head. "Are you even capable of reacting in a negative way to _anything?" _

She laughs and sticks her tongue out at me good-naturedly.

"Whatever . . . anyways, look, thanks a lot for sticking up for me-"

"No problem!"

I push on: "-but it really wasn't necessary. I would've been more than happy to forget this whole thing happened and go back to my life," I finish.

"Hmm..." Akuma said thoughtfully. "Don't care!"

If this was an anime, I would've just majorly sweatdropped. _Everyone I know is psycho, _I complain inwardly.

"Anyways, could you explain what the hell is going on here?"

She gives me an empty-headed look.

"I mean, the friggin Akatsuki is living in your house, man!" I explain exasperatedly.

"Oh, that! Yeah, a while ago when I was staying at Tenshi's house a box of kittens showed up in the yard. Tenshi wanted to take them to the shelter, but I convinced her to keep them."

"Good call," I say sarcastically. "And then they turned into the Akatsuki?"

"Yep. When splashed with hot water, they turn into humans, and when splashed with cold water, back into kittens! To tell you the truth, Tenshi wanted to drown them when she found out."

I nod. "I'da done the same thing, man."

"At any rate, we kept them around," she continues, seemingly ignoring me. "In exchange for providing food, clothes, shelter, entertainment, and for not turning them into kittens and drowning them, Pein lets Tenshi keep the Akatsuki in line. Basically, he told them to listen to Tenshi as if she spoke for him. It works out well for him, since he can work on the jutsu to return home without having to deal with them. He only has to sort out the occasional fight between Deidara and Tenshi, when he pushes her a little too far. It's a nice arrangement."

_Well, she's certainly chatty. _I think while listening to her ramble on. She's go this bright smile while talking that I would like to think was fake, but it's too damn cheery and she looks way too empty-headed for it not to be genuine. This girl is either dumb as a brick, or too good-natured for her own good. There was the possibility that she was faking it, but I didn't think anyone was that good at acting. Why does Tenshi like her so much?

"I get it. So that's why they listen to that bitch."

"She mostly lets them do what they want, as long as they follow a couple of rules. Tenshi'll give you the rundown when you go see Pein."

"Oh joy. I can't wait." I say sarcastically, although secretly thinking I'd better not smartass Pein . . . he is one scary mafucker.

* * *

I waited outside Pein's room, leaning against the wall, arms crossed in front of my chest. I was tired. Dealing with the Akatsuki was bad enough, but now a bitch with a mouth to rival Hidan's and an annoyance factor to rival Deidara's gets adopted by my friend, for god knows what reason. I had to wonder what the hell went on in Akuma's head sometimes. First the Akatsuki, now this.

From the start, I had not liked Mari. It wasn't so much the smell and the dirt, than the look she gave me. An aggressive, hot look, like she had fire burning inside her and she was not afraid to show it. I could tell she possessed an incredible will to live, a perception reinforced by her knives, gun, and the determination that had allowed her to survive on her own for so long. I couldn't help but feel a spark of admiration when we were first glaring at each other, our positions drastically opposite.

But that had vanished when she opened her mouth.

She was just so childish! Like a really foul-mouthed five year old. Granted, she was a little younger than me, but you'd think she'd have some manners or something. 'Eat shit and die' was the first thing this immature brat had said to me, and I was not amused.

She was bratty, hot-headed, foul-mouthed, and got on my nerves. If it was up to me, she'd be lying in a ditch somewhere, out of my sight.

Mari walked out of Akuma's room, wearing one of my favorite shirts. My eyes narrowed.

"Why is she wearing _my _clothes?"

"Because we're the same size and I like Metallica," she snapped. "Believe me, I'm not too thrilled about it either."

"Well at least you have good taste in music. Now give me my shirt back."

"What the fuck am I supposed to wear then? Oh no, wait, I have a walk-in closet in my bag!" she said sarcastically.

"Wear one of Akuma's."

"She's too frickin small!"

"What makes you think I care?"

"Girls, Pein is ready to see you." Our argument was interrupted by Konan. Now she didn't have time to go and change. Fuck.

"Fine." I snapped. "Keep the shirt." We followed Konan into Akuma's father's office, reconverted to serve as Pein's base of operations.

"Well aren't you just _so_ generous?" she snarled.

"Keep it up and I'll put you outside in the rain."

"What am I, a dog?"

"You're just about as annoying as one."

"You bet your ass I am."

Our conversation was cut short as we entered Pein's study. It was large and imposing, bookshelves filed with antiques lining the walls and the hardwood floor covered by a thick oriental rug. Pein sat behind the glistening mahogany desk, the room's only window behind him, projecting an aura of power over him. He took no notice of our entrance, continuing his work.

I explained the situation to him. He neither nodded, nor spoke, nor gave any sign that he'd heard me. I said nothing about it. Pein was the only one I would never even _try_ to be disrespectful to.

Finally, I finished talking and he raised his head, purple ringed eyes staring right through us.

"Fine. Make sure she does not make any trouble."

Mari frowned indignantly at that, but wisely didn't open her mouth.

"Roger." I said. He turned his gaze to Mari, and I saw her jump and swallow nervously.

"While you are here, there is only one rule. Mine. My word is law. I will tolerate neither disrespect nor disobedience. The punishment for either will be severe. If you in any way endanger our organization, you will be hunted down, tortured, and killed without mercy. I hope you will remember this fact. In my absence, as Konan is frequently occupied with her work, Tenshi acts as my proxy. Her word is law. Obey her as you would me. You are dismissed."

I hightailed out of there, Mari close behind. I think, no matter our differences, there was one thing we could agree on.

Pein is scary as hell.

Mari hurried downstairs, her face a little pale. Maybe Pein drove some sense into her childish brain.

It was about time for lunch now. I had to hurry and make food in time, otherwise the criminals got overly rambunctious. I walked into my kitchen to find the brat, her nose in the fridge, a knife, bread, and peanut butter on the counter. She was cooking. In my kitchen.

"What do you think you're doing?"

She pulled her face out of the fridge, holding a jar of jelly, and shrugged. "Lunch." she said.

"_I _will make lunch. You're not allowed in here."

"Unless it's gonna be done in the next thirty seconds, I'm not interested," she responded, taking two slices of bread and making her sandwich, completely ignoring me.

"_I don't care _what you think about it," I snarled. "Get out of my kitchen!"

She stopped long enough to look me in the eye. "I haven't eaten in three days. Piss off, I'm making a sandwich, man."

I was about to yell, when Kisame entered the kitchen.

"Tenshi, is lunch almost . . . Oh no." he stared in shock at the scene. My livid face, and Mari's unconcerned attitude as she continued making her sandwich. He had enough sense to know this was not good.

"Lunch, will be, _delayed_," I spat.

"Oy, bitch, where's my foo . . . what is she doing in here? Hey, why's she allowed to cook?" It was the_ other_ glutton's turn to barge in and complain. I had to get this brat the hell out before Deidara showed up. I could not deal with both of them at the same time!

"No, she's _not_. Now get the hell out!" My hand itched towards the cutlery drawer. They fled. I turned to Mari.

"Now, I'm going to count to five. If you're still here when I'm finished, rest assured that you will regret it." I opened the drawer.

She gasped dramatically. "Oh, no, you found my secret weakness; it's . . . the number _five." _she rolled her eyes. "Look, I'm almost done, so chill the fuck out, man."

"One...two..."

Before I finished counting she grabbed her sandwich and left. I sighed in relief, then frowned. She hadn't bothered to clean up. The counter was a mess. I ran out after her to give her an earful, when I damn near had a stroke.

My chair. She was sitting in, my, chair. That was not allowed. No one sits in my chair.

"Out! Out! Get out of my chair! You're not allowed there!" I yelled.

"Alright, now you're just making stuff up," she accused me irritably.

"OUT!"

"You weren't even sitting in it, man!" she complained.

That was it. I'd had it with this brat. I went into my room and grabbed my bokuto. I might have mentioned this before, but even though it wasn't sharp, it could inflict very painful blunt trauma.

I came up to her and swung it with all my strength.

"Holy shit!" she dodged.

"Last chance, brat!" I raised it again.

"Where'd you get a _sword _from?"

"It's called a bokuto. Get your facts straight! Three, two..."

"Alright, alright! Moving!" she jumped out of the chair. "But only because that's a badass sword."

"While I have your attention, let me tell you the rules I have for this house. One, no violence towards either me or Akuma. If you want to brawl with the others, fine by me." Hopefully she'll end up getting her ass kicked by them, she's just stupid enough to. "That leads us to rule number two, no breaking anything. I expect to be compensated for any broken items, and I don't _care_ how you get the money. Three, no going anywhere near my laptop, kitchen, chair, room. Four, and this applies only to you, no going anywhere outside this house without an escort of at least two other inhabitants of this house, three if one of them is Deidara or Hidan."

"Hey!(hm)"

"I trust you guys about as far as I could throw you, _deal with it_. Now, that's it for the rules. Follow them and we won't have a problem." I'd deliberately omitted the rule about my aphephobia, because that would just be giving her ammunition. Besides, I doubt she would touch me with a ten foot pole.

"I'm _pretty _sure we already have a problem..." Mari muttered.

"Hey wait," Deidara just had to open his mouth, didn't he? "What about the rule about not touching you, hm?"

I facepalmed.

"Say what?" Mari asked in confusion.

"I have severe aphephobia," I growled. "Fear of being touched. So basically, stay the hell away from me or you'll be sorry."

Mari's lip curled. "That won't be a problem, I wouldn't touch you with a ten foot pole, man."

My eye twitched slightly at her having stolen the words from my mouth. "Good."

I noticed Deidara's eyes darting back and forth between the two of us, watching our argument with amusement. I gritted my teeth, but decided against saying anything as I really didn't want to hear what he had to say on the subject. Besides, getting into arguments with Deidara was an exercise in insanity that always ended with me getting riled up and chasing him with either my bokuto or a knife, depending on the severity of the fight. But I would be burning his next meal for that.

"Seriously, _what _is so damn funny, man?" Mari asked obnoxiously.

Goddammit. I wondered what would happened if I decided to chase _her_ with a knife? She might fight back. Couldn't have that, it would make Akuma upset . . .

"It's not often I get to see someone challenge Tenshi, hm," he responded, grinning. Bastard.

Mari raised an eyebrow. "That so?"

"Most people aren't as stupid as you," I told her acidly.

She gasped, raised her fingers to her mouth like she was biting her nails in terror, her eyes laughing at my expense. Why that little . . . Meanwhile Deidara started laughing out loud.

That made me angrier.

I swung my bokuto at him, clipping him on the cheek as he dodged. Whirling around to face Mari, I placed the tip of my sword right between her eyes. The humor in them disappeared.

She glared, and I glared back.

Oh yeah, we had one heck of a problem.

* * *

Review!


	3. Bickering

Sorry for the wait. Here's the next chapter!

* * *

So, Akuma showed me some room that she says is mine, although I know better. It's on the second floor, a huge room decorated in a pink color scheme. Seriously, everything is fucking pink, the rug on the hardwood floor, the flowery wallpaper, the comforter and the fluffy pillows on the queen sized bed, which was placed in the middle of the room. There was a big vanity dresser and a regular dresser on the left, nightstands with matching antique lamps on either side of the bed, a bookshelf next to the window, and a door leading to a small, but fancy bathroom (tiled entirely in pink). I was not surprised when Akuma told me with an empty-headed smile that she'd decorated it.

I gotta admit I'm more relieved than I'd like to admit that Akuma is Rich as Fuck and her house, no, _mansion_ has enough rooms for me to have my own. I don't like sleeping in front of other people, especially not people I don't know, and _especially_ not in front of people I equally fear and resent. Of course, since my room is right next to the rooms of said serial killers who almost definitely consider me completely expendable, I'll have to keep on my toes even when I sleep. Of course, that's not much different than the way I usually live.

A few precautions should do it. I'll just grab one of those chairs from the dining room (and drag it up the stairs . . . can't wait) and push it up under the doorknob, then crack the window . . . that way if they try and come into the room at night they'll have to break the door down, and I'm an _extremely _jumpy sleeper, so by the time they open the door I'll be out the window. Not that they couldn't just catch me there, too…dammit…

Anyways, I'll sleep with my shoes on, my switchblade in my hands, and a short-term escape plan ready. For now that's the best I can do.

I glance over at the dressers, and for some reason it makes me feel slightly depressed to know that I won't have a single possession to fill them with. Everything I own that could be considered a weapon in any way –so, basically, everything but my backpack- has been confiscated, other than the ones I keep hidden in my clothes and shoes. See, it pays to keep up a healthy level of paranoia. All I have to my name now is my clothes in the wash and my backpack, with the few things they didn't take from me in it; namely, a flashlight, two Hefty sacks, a black ball cap, some pens, and a couple paperback books I've been reading. (The Outsiders and The Zombie Apocalypse Survival Guide, in case anyone's interested.) I set my backpack on the top dresser –no sense unpacking. I need to be ready to run in a split second. You know what, come to think of it, I slip everything but the books into my pockets. It's enough to survive off of long enough for me to get to a new town and steal some more stuff.

I sit on the bed, lean back and stare at the ceiling.

I already have a plan for how to escape. Apparently the Akatsuki turn into cats whenever cold water hits them, and it rains _constantly _out here. Not only that, but you'll see clouds accumulating for hours beforehand at times, which will give me plenty of time to find a way to get a hold of some car keys. Then, as soon as it starts raining, it's just a question of getting out into the weather before they catch me, and all I have to do is manage to get away without Tenshi stopping me. Storms here last for hours; plenty of time for me to drive to a town, con someone into getting me gas, and put the pedal to the metal. I taught myself how to drive when I ran away the first time; only, then I just had rednecks and cops after my ass, not elite ninja.

Well, in any case, it could be several weeks before I get a chance to put that plan into action. I can't try and make my escape unless I actually have a good chance of getting away. I'll need to know where the closest town is, what car keys go to what car, where the car keys are usually kept…in other words, I need to have general knowledge of this place before I'll have the slightest chance to get away. What with Tenshi and the ninjas running around this place, any attempts to glean information will more than likely be noticed and shot down…however, I already know their weakest link.

Akuma.

I smile slightly to myself. I'm going to have to befriend her and gain her trust -not that that will probably be _difficult, _exactly- and begin pumping her for information. I doubt she will either notice or object to this, especially if I do it in some kind of a friendly 'small-talk' context. I probably won't even have to trick her to do it…it's almost sad.

_Almost._

Of course, given how ditzy and empty-headed Akuma seems, Tenshi would probably have more information I'd like to get my hands on, but there's no way in hell. Even if there were the slightest chance we would be able to have any kind of a conversation without trying to actively murder each other, she'd never trust me and I'd never be willing to _grovel_ to gain her trust. That's just not going to happen.

Speaking of gleaning information, I'm betting they'll be trying to figure out where I came from pretty soon –what happened to my parents, why I'm on the run, generally my entire backstory. I've gotten to be pretty good at dodging the questions of store clerks and concerned citizens, so that probably shouldn't be too much of a problem; then again, refusing to give an answer would probably just raise their level of interest, so I should just lie.

That night I sleep fully clothed, for the first time in who knows how long in a real, extremely comfortable, bed. Despite my unease, I soon fall sleep.

Over the next couple of days, it doesn't take long for me to decide that I'd be much better off if I was scared enough of hypothetical serial-killer ghosts (oh, the irony) to have found a _different _house to rob.

Even disregarding The Hanus Bitch for a moment, living here is a total _mindfuck. _I've always been a firm believer that life doesn't make sense, but this rate about 11 out of 10 on my Weird Shit-O-Meter. Nothing I've encountered in my life could even hold a candle to this dangerous nonsense. At any rate, though, even once the novelty has worn off the Akatsuki are _really, really _hard to deal with. In a perverse way, I'm glad I spent more than a year fending for myself among druggies, pizza delivery guys, winos, cops, schizos, psychotic rapists and social workers (just to name a few), because if I hadn't I'm not sure how I would be handling it. Tenshi I would have been able to hold my own with . . . the rest of them, I bet, would have had me scared entirely shitless.

But between Konan and Kisame arguing over whether to watch the news or some random soap opera (respectively), Itachi reading a book in _French_ for some reason, Hidan demanding food all the time until Tenshi told him to shut it or lose 'em, Kakuzu playing online poker, Sasori's weird addiction to switching the channels whenever he could get his (wooden) hands on the remote, and Deidara's weird fascination with irritating the already volatile Hanus Bitch, things were completely batshit crazy around here. I spend my time trying to entertain myself without getting murdered. Unfortunately, I seem to have a talent for pissing people off, no matter how much I may need to avoid it. Within the first day I think I managed to get on Sasori's bad side.

Somehow (don't ask) I ended up trying to explain the concept of South Park to him, once I'd gotten him to _stop changing the freaking channels_.

"Oh, and here's something that applies to you, man," I told him, _jokingly. _(I really want to stress the humor with which this was meant to be taken.) "Gingers -you know, redheads- don't have souls."

To which he deadpans: "How would _you _like to have no muscle control?"

Gulp. "...No thanks."

"Then be quiet."

Well. I steer clear of Sasori after that.

I also managed to irritate Itachi by questioning him about the book he was reading.

"Hey, uh, dude?"

He ignored me.

"Itachi?"

"What?"

"...Do you speak French?"

Apparently, I hit a nerve, seeing the way he sullenly got up to get another book. (Oookay...)

"Why do you guys even _have_ books in french?" I ask Akuma.

"I'm half-french." Tenshi answers my question from her chair before Akuma does, turning a page of her book. I decide to make an effort and try initiating a conversation.

"Umm . . . Akuma mentioned your name was Angel. That's not french." Now that I listen closely, she actually has a faint French accent.

"My full name is Angelique." The bitch doesn't even raise her eyes from her book. That pisses me off. Here I am, trying to have a conversation with her, and she can't even look at me? She's like a walking stereotype of the arrogant french person. Of course, since I'm the walking stereotype of an obnoxious, loud American, it's kind of a moot point.

"Angelic?" I snicker. "That _so_ doesn't suit you, man."

"You're pronouncing it wrong." she says. "'Angelique' means 'Angelic' but they're not pronounced the same way."

I frowned. "Who gives a fuck? They're the same!"

"No. The pronunciation is _different_. This is why I don't like being called by my full name. Nobody gets the pronunciation right."

"I would've thought you'd like that. Gives you a chance to correct them and feel all superior," I say nastily.

She gives me a dirty look. "If I need to feel superior, I'll just have a conversation with you."

"Asshole."

Tenshi and her weird (read: bitchy) attitude are really the least of my problems. I'm probably gonna end up getting killed by these guys because I can't keep my mouth shut. Except Hidan, that's not really a problem with him. We get into cussing battles that turn Akuma white and get the Bitch all riled up (she hates noise-any noise. Except the TV. Unless it's a soap opera. I switch the channel whenever she comes in the room, just to piss her off.). He loves it:

"Bitch!"

"Asshole!"

"Asslicker!"

"Fucking dickhole!"

"Slut!"

"Fucknuts!"

"Both of you shut the _hell _up or I will make you eat charred pizza for the next week!**"**

"Yeah, like that's a threat." I snort. Hidan laughs.

"You need to learn not to piss off the people who handle your food."

"What'cha gonna do? Spit in it?"

"No. But I _will_ serve up boiled grass and blackened dirt. Good luck shooting your mouth off on an empty stomach."

"What are you guys even fighting about?" Akuma asked timidly, interrupting our spat.

Me and Hidan look at each other. I look back to Akuma and shrug. "We just like to yell a lot."

"Fuck yeah."

Anyways, the Akatsuki more or less ignores me, thank God. No awkward questions to have to answer. I guess when you're a missing-nin there's a lot of people you don't know much about, so they're used to it. Lucky me. I pretty much only talk to them to argue about the TV, or video games (which Akuma has a _ton _of, thank you Jesus), or seating a arrangements, or food. Oh, yeah, speaking of food:

At dinner the first day I stayed there, we were all eating some kind of lasagna. "Dude, this food is the shit," I mumbled in-between bites.

"Oh really?" Kisame asked, smiling slightly.

"Hell yeah! Who cooked this, man?"

"Tenshi, hm," Deidara grinned.

I scowled. They laughed. Even Tenshi smiled a little.

"Shut up," I muttered, somewhat embarrassed, but not enough to stop eating. I don't care who cooked it, food is food. I remembered her comment about her handling all the food. Dammit. She was totally capable of serving an inedible mess.

* * *

"Stay out of the..." Tenshi started as I walked toward the kitchen.

"I'm just, getting, a Coke," I interrupted her, glaring.

"Hey, Mari, can you grab me a Ginger Ale?" Akuma asked as I opened the fridge.

"Sure."

"Hey, me too!" Hidan called.

I snorted. "Yeah fuckin' right, man." I walk back into the living room with two cokes, tossing one to Akuma.

"Why the fuck not, bitch!"

I shrug. "Because Akuma's awesome and you suck," I tell him matter-of-factly.

"Hey, fuck you!"

"Thank you!" Akuma squealed as I gave her a soda. She is seriously easy to please.

I shrug, plopping down on the couch next to her on the far left. Beside her sat Hidan (glaring at me), then Deidara closest to Tenshi (staring at her...creepy), who of course, sat reading a huge book in her Armchair Throne. Itachi was reading a textbook on a different couch, and Kisame was arguing with Sasori, who of course, was changing the channels. (Weirdo.) Kakuzu was playing poker online with poor suckers who knew not what they were up against.

"Y'know, one of these days I really am gonna sacrifice you to Jashin-sama," Hidan scowled at me as he got up.

"Well, until then, get your happy ass up and get your own soda, man."

"Fuckin' bitch."

"Asshole."

"Whore."

"Fucknugget."

"Do NOT start that again!" Tenshi snapped, barely looking up from her book.

"Fuck off, man." I popped the top of my soda and took a long sip.

"You'd better watch it," she warned me as Hidan sat back down with his Coke.

"Oh, I'll be sure to do that, man," I tell her sarcastically, sniggering.

She glared at me, but was too engrossed in what she was reading. Curious, I peeked over her shoulder, discreetly, like a ninja. It was nothing but tiny writing, various diagrams and equations, and I couldn't understand a goddamned thing. I deduced from the title at the top that it was about physics, and probably a college level one, judging by the size of the thing. Was this chick for real?

"Stop reading over my shoulder." she snapped. "I'm trying to concentrate."

"You _understand _all that? What's it even about?"

"Nuclear physics. Yes, I understand it, or I would if people would stop yapping in this room."

"Geez, grouchy. Just asking, man."

"Well, don't."

Akuma shook her head. "Why can't you guys just _try _to get along?" she whined.

"Because then we wouldn't be us."

"Guys, back me up here!" Kisame suddenly shouted, looking desperate. "My soap opera comes on in two minutes!"

"No one's gonna help you out with _that, _hm."

"Yeah, I'm with the bomber. Soap operas are gay," I say.

"They are _not!" _Kisame snapped.

"Well, watching them when you're a guy is gay."

Deidara laughed.

"The bitch has got a point," Hidan said, leering at Kisame.

"Did you just call me gay?" Kisame asked me, glaring and looking kinda scary.

I shrug. "How are you gonna be watching soap operas and not expect to be called gay, man?"

"You're about to get your ass kicked," Tenshi told me impassively, snapping her book shut.

"Hey, shut the hell up!" I snapped at her.

"Kisame, no one wants to watch soap operas," Sasori said calmly, his eyes not leaving the screen.

"Well, no one wants to watch you flip the channels for hours, either, hm."

"Be quiet, brat."

Deidara, apparently giving up on the TV as a potential entertainment source, looked back to Tenshi. They began talking, or rather, Deidara began talking and Tenshi tried to get him to leave her alone. I didn't pay any attention to the conversation because Akuma started to talk to me.

"Hey, you're about Tenshi's size, right?"

"Huh?"

"Well, I figure we're going to need to get you some clothes of your own soon," she told me sweetly.

I gave her an incredulous look. "You mean, like, at a store?"

"Well, that _is _where people usually buy clothes."

"You really don't need to do that, man," I tell her evasively. I'm going to be leaving as soon as I get a chance. Her buying me clothes would just be a waste of money. Besides, I'm a bit nervous about the implication that I'm going to be here for a long enough time for that to matter.

"Yes I do!" she insisted. "You can't just keep wearing Tenshi's clothes."

"Why not?"

"It gets on her nerves."

"And that's a bad thing, how?" I grin.

She gives me a disapproving look.

I roll my eyes. "Look, if you want to waste your money, be my guest," I tell her, having just remembered what shopping for clothes would mean: going out of the house, probably without the ninja around constantly. An ideal escape opportunity.

She grinned. "I'll talk to Tenshi about it."

I roll my eyes. "Oh, yeah. Everything has to be run by her, doesn't it? Shit, she's like the Godfather, man."

We're interrupted by Tenshi suddenly getting up and swinging her book at a laughing Deidara. She nearly hit him, but he dodged in time. She yells something, tries to kick him in the shin, misses, and stomps up to her room.

"Jeez, man, what'd you do?" I say. He just grins triumphantly at me. I roll my eyes. "Whatever, man."

* * *

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	4. Trip To The Mall

We bring to you another chapter. Please excuse the wait. Review!

* * *

I came back down stairs after a while, still furious. All I wanted was to read my book in peace, was that too much to ask? The Brat was the cause of this. I had never met anyone as loud as she was. And the worst part was, she made Hidan louder, who then made her louder, in a never ending cycle of _noise_. I would have shut myself in my room if Akuma hadn't told me, with a frown on her face, to be more social.

I needed to cook dinner, anyway. There are too many people in my house. I considered turning them into kittens, but then there would be no one to keep the brat from running away. And Pein would kill me if she ran off with the organization's secrets.

I walked into the kitchen, rubbing my temples at the noise coming from the living room (the Brat and Hidan were at it again) and started cooking. Soon after while I was stirring a pot of tomato sauce (homemade), Akuma came to talk to me. I glared at her suspiciously. She wanted something, I could just tell.

"Say, Tenshi?"

"What do you want?" I asked suspiciously.

"Well, I was thinking, Mari is going to stay here awhile . . ."

"So?"

"She can't keep wearing your clothes, can she?"

"I see where this is going. If you want to blow your money on the brat, have at it. Leave me out of it, though."

"The thing is, I kinda, hum, need you to . . . drive us there . . ."

"Take the bus." I said shortly.

"Tenshi, I don't think that's a good idea."

"Why the hell not? I'm not chauffeuring you guys around, and that's the end of this conversation." I kneaded eggs and flour together to make pasta dough. "Get out the pasta machine, will you? My hands are dirty."

She obeyed, and I started rolling the dough out. She waited right next to me while I worked, and I knew this wasn't over. It wasn't until the pasta was cooking that she shuffled up to me and whispered close to my ear.

"I don't think Mari wants to be seen in public. The mall should be fine because hardly anybody goes there during the week. Could you please do me this favor? I'll buy you that new cast iron pan you wanted." she smiled.

I thought about it, eyes narrowed. I did need that pan to replace the one Deidara had destroyed when he'd first arrived. They were expensive, too . . .

"Toss in a new knife set, and we have a deal."

"What do you need a new knife for?" she asked, head slightly tilted in curiosity.

"I think Hidan stole my best one, and my others got ruined by being planted into walls."

"Maybe you should stop throwing knives at people, man!" Mari hollered from the living room.

"Stop eavesdropping!" I yelled back.

"For your information, we can all hear what you're saying!"

I slammed the kitchen door shut. Damn, the brat was going to drive me crazy!

"Okay, do we have a deal?" I asked Akuma. She nodded with a happy smile.

"I can still hear you!"

We went to the mall the next day. It was decided that Itachi and Deidara would be accompanying us. The first, because he could be trusted to keep an eye on the Brat, the second because he got into the car and wouldn't leave. And no amount of threatening or angry hitting with my shinai on the locked door would make him come out, either. The brat was laughing her ass off at me. I was about to whack her over the head with it when Akuma unlocked the car with the remote button-thing. The brat only laughed harder as she got in the back, in the middle, next to Deidara. Itachi followed in, Akuma got in the front, and I didn't have much choice but to get behind the wheel. However, before I started the car, I turned around and said

"Blondie. Switch places with her."

"Why the hell should . . ." she whined.

"I don't want him next to the window. End of story." She was about to retort when Akuma chimed in.

"You'd better do it, it'll get ugly otherwise. Deidara was a little too enthusiastic the last time he was in the car, so we like to keep him away from things that open while we're in motion."

To my surprise, she obeyed without so much as a grumble. Deidara made the switch with a disappointed look. I started the car and backed out of the driveway, thinking hard. Since when were Akuma and the brat friends? You would think that someone like her would be immediately annoyed by Akuma's cheerful characters and overwhelming happiness that bordered on stupidity. It was worrying, because while Akuma had a good eye for people, she was also very easy to take advantage of. The brat could be plotting something. But then again, she would be a fool not to try something, sometime down the road. She may be immature, loud-mouthed and impulsive, but she was not an idiot. Judging by how she looked when she first arrived, she must have been on the run for a while. No one could survive that long without some pretty good instincts.

As I drove, and thought, I glanced at the mirror to see Deidara whispering something in the brat's ear. She suddenly grinned maliciously and rolled down the window.

"Don't you dare do what I think you're thinking of doing!" I hissed. She stuck her tongue out at me, flipped me off, and leaned out the window.

"Shit, this is great! Man, you should try it!" she whooped. Glancing into the side mirror, I could see her laughing as the wind blew her hair back. She wasn't quite as far out as Deidara was back then, but she was pretty close.

"Get your ass back in here, you stupid girl!" I yelled.

"It's called car surfing, bitch, calm your tits!"

"Why you little . . ." I glanced back at the two Akatsuki. "Do something! You're supposed to keep her under control!"

"I'm not helping, hm." Deidara said smugly. Itachi had a death grip on the seat, and looked a little queasy. I gritted my teeth. Next to me, Akuma was rolling down her window.

"Don't you dare!"

"What? It really looks like fun!"

"Yeah, till we get caught by the cops! This can't be legal!"

"Whatcha mean cops? There are no cops out here, man!" the brat snorted, laughing with exhilaration.

I had an idea. I carefully looked around me, checking for any cars. I couldn't pull the same stunt as last time, because Mari was not a shinobi and would surely break all her bones (not that that would be a bad thing, but you know, Akuma would be upset) so instead I violently swerved to the right.

"OW!" she yelped as she was thrown back, colliding with Deidara, then scrambling away. "Man, not cool! I hit my head!"

"Oh yeah? Buckle up and shut up!" I said as I closed the window using these handy little buttons on the dash board. "The next time I'll shut the window with your head still out, got it?"

She grumbled a little, but one annoyed look from Itachi made her sit down and buckle her seat belt. Akuma twisted around.

"Don't feel bad! When Deidara did it, she sent him flying head first into the road. Why don't you pick some music for us to listen to? Then we won't have to feel awkward because of the uncomfortable silence!"

"Hum . . . what do you have?" I saw her sweat-drop in the mirror.

"Tenshi? What do you have?"

"Hello, driving here. Pick a CD, you know where they are."

"Which one?"

"Any one! Just pick one already!"

She rummaged through the CDs, and held one up.

"Mari? Do you like . . ." she grimaced at the name. "Sick Puppies?"

Mari's face lit up. "Hells yeah, man!"

"Well great!" Akuma put it in and plugged her ears as the song came bursting out of the speakers.

"_Odd one you're never alone, I'm here and I reflect you,_

_Both of us basically unattached to anything or anyone _

_Unless we're pretending..." _

The rest of the ride was spent in relative peace. I kept my eyes on the road, driving just below the speed limit. I had half a mind to go faster, but I didn't want to get a ticket.

We arrived at the mall and went in. I checked out the map while Akuma chattered about where we should go.

"Hot Topic, maybe?" she said. "Where do you usually get your clothes? There are a couple of stores around here that sell stuff Tenshi likes, maybe we should go there?"

"Wherever's fine, man. Let's just make this quick."

"Sure! Can we get a bite to eat first?" she raised those puppy dog eyes to me.

I sighed in exasperation. "Can we just get this over with?"

"I want a donut!"

"Akuma, if you want donuts, I will make you donuts when we get home!"

"It's not the same! The donuts here are better!"

"Ouch, that had to hurt!" the brat grinned. "How does it feel to be worse than a food court?"

"Stop talking." I snapped. "Now."

"Or what?"

"You wanna starve?"

"Akuma's gone already." she pointed out.

I turned around to see Akuma dragging Itachi and Deidara by their sleeves to the food court's donut shop. I rubbed my forehead vigorously.

Five minutes later we were sitting at a table, a dozen donuts spread out in front of us. Akuma had quite a weakness for store bought donuts. She was currently munching on a white sprinkled one. Itachi was picked a glazed donut apart with his fingers, but the rest of us didn't take any.

The brat was looking around us, sneakily, eyes darting to the mall cops patrolling and the few other people who actually came here. She seemed a bit nervous, but that wasn't my problem.

I cleared my throat, gathering everyone's attention.

"Okay, we need some ground rules before we set out." I pointed at Itachi. "Itachi. You are in charge of _her_. Keep her within sight, otherwise I don't care where she goes. You, Blondie, stick with either me or Akuma, and do not wander off. I am not setting you loose in the mall."

"I don't need to be watched, I'm not some kid!"

"How old are you?" I asked.

"Sixteen," she lied.

"No you're not. Tell you what, if I catch you out of Itachi's sight, I'll have him Sharingan you, and toss you in the trunk of the car. You will then be sent to your room, like a child, with no dinner. How does that sound?" I said in a condescending tone. She didn't take being treated like a child very well.

* * *

She stares at me like I'm some goddamned kid! That bitch! I may still be a few months away from turning fifteen, but I'd be willing to bet I've seen more shit than she has in her life- I may be young but dammit, I'm not a child! Finally I snap. "You're a fucking psychotic bitch!" I shout, not caring if I'm making a scene, before stomping off.

_She is fucking unbelievable,_ I seethe, deciding on a destination at random, a smoothie store. I'll use the money I ripped off from that fat, rich, and extremely inattentive lady with an oversized purse. I can't believe that of all the people to get stuck with, of all the people in the _world, _I got stuck with _her. _The worst part is, there's no escape, not with those damn ninjas running around. The closest I could get to getting away from her is walking across a food court in a mall to get my own freaking smoothie. Any farther and I would be out of Itachi's sight.

"You're right, you know."

At first I ignore the voice, assuming it's talking to someone other than me –I don't know anyone here- but then I feel a tap on my shoulder. I tense up and spin around quickly to see that there's no threat at all, just two teenage girls, maybe a year or two older than me, but nowhere near physically threatening. I could take both of them at once should I have to. Besides which, they're wearing way too much makeup and are dressed like hookers. I usually don't give these kinds of people the time of day, and in my experience if one approaches me it means they have the intention of trying to torment me in some way. I narrow my eyes. "Right about what, man?"

The one on the right, an auburn-haired girl wearing a particularly obnoxious shade of purple eyeliner, smiled at me in a sickeningly sweet way and motioned her head back toward where Tenshi and the others are sitting. "That girl you just told off, she _is _a total psychotic bitch. Good job, standing up to her like that," she tells me graciously, with the air of a teacher praising a young child for standing up to a playground bully. Meanwhile, I notice the other one looking me up and down, taking in my black, punk-looking clothes with condescending amusement.

I raise an eyebrow at the talkative one. "And that means _what _to you?" I ask rudely.

She gives a fake, high-pitched laugh. "Let's just get straight to the point, huh? I like your attitude."

Alright, why is she kissing my ass? She wants something, I can tell. I tilt my head to the side, staring her down, not bothering to smile, looking occasionally toward the blonde-haired, shorter and quieter girl to her side, who was also smiling at me condescendingly. The first one goes on: "How do you know that Angelique girl?"

I say the first thing that comes to my mind. "It's a long story. I guess you could say she's…a friend of a friend."

"But not your friend?" she asks, as if verifying to make sure.

I snort. "_Hell _no."

She smiles victoriously. "Good. You see, that _bitch," _she hisses, glaring over at Tenshi (who is watching closely, I notice, with narrowed eyes and a deadly serious expression), "sent my best friend to the hospital a few weeks ago."

I don't have to fake my look of shock. "Why, man?"

Her mouth twists in anger, losing her fake, slippery attitude. "Because she's a psychotic bitch," she snaps.

Ooh, she's really pissed. I force down a grin. "So why don't you go and jump her right now?"

Her angry gaze turns to me for a split second before the good-natured mask returns. "That's where you come in."

What is it she wants so badly, to put up with my bullshit for? And I wonder exactly how far I could push her before she stops trying to get on my good side…but I have a feeling it would interest me more to let her think I consider a friend, for now. Besides, I'm curious about this girl Tenshi supposedly jumped, and I doubt Tenshi will tell me herself. "Really? How so?" I ask, feigning interest.

She smiles. "Here, let me buy you a smoothie, and we can talk."

Oh, yeah, the smoothie. I look and see the line has moved forward while we were talking. I'm not sure I want to take favors from her… "I have money, man…"

"My treat," she purrs. For some reason this really irritates me, and I narrow my eyes as she and her friend turn away from me to order. I happen to look down, and see that as she opens her over-large purse to get her wallet, a silver iPod, earphones wrapped neatly and tightly around it, slips out of its pocket into my view, staying there as she turns back toward the counter to order smoothies. Both of them are facing the other way.

I smile. This is way too easy.

The iPod's in the left pocket of my baggy jeans long before they turn back around, the shorter one with her hands on her hips, the one who's been doing all the talking leaning against the counter to face me arrogantly. "My name's Kelly."

"And I'm Sarah," the shorter one chimes in.

"Mari."

They motion for me to follow them toward a nearby table, and I do, sitting down in a chair and sipping the drink they stupidly bought me.

Kelly nods. "Well, Mari, we're not the type to take that kind of thing lying down. We're going to put that evil bitch back in her place."

I grin. "I'd love to see you do that, man," I say truthfully. I _would _love to see this girl try whatever it is she thinks she can do to Tenshi…it would be funny as hell. I can guess that Tenshi isn't just all talk.

Kelly apparently misunderstands, smiling indulgently. "I'm glad we're on the same page. You're going to high school here, right?"

"Yeah," I lie smoothly.

"Good. We can use all the people we can." She smiles at me. "Of course, if you expect us to let you in, you'll have to, ah, prove your usefulness."

You've _got _to be kidding me. Not only does she think I'm about to jump at a chance to be included in her little ring of bullies, but she thinks I'm going to grovel in order to do so? I know she can see my anger when I ask, "What did you have in mind?"

"Oh, nothing major," she goes on pseudo-sweetly, a voice that makes me feel like puking. "Just, if you're in a position to find some things out for us…"

I nod. "Ohhh, I see." I cock an eyebrow. "Anything in particular?"

"Just the usual…" she says vaguely.

"There's a usual?" I blurt, not considering how stupid that makes me sound.

She laughs again. "I mean, if her parents are drunks, what boy she might like, where she'll be after school on certain days…"

"So basically, anything that could be used against her."

"You've got it," Sarah speaks up again. (Why is she even here? Extra muscle?)

I nod, digesting this information. These girls are in _way _over their heads here; if they're targeting Tenshi, they're screwed. The idea is laughable. My interest level fades on that subject and I wonder what else I might be able to get out of them, given this golden opportunity. "So, is it just Ten- I mean, just Angelique you'll need info on?"

Kelly looks thoughtful. "Actually, if you hear anything about that Dawn girl, you could let us know…although I think we've already put _her_ in her place pretty well," she smirks.

I frown, my eyes narrowing. "You did _what?" _

"Is there a problem with that?"

I debate for a second, before deciding to bide my time for a little longer. "Not really. I just can't imagine a flake like that doing anything to get under your skin, man."

She laughs again, and I decide that I really, _really _hate her laugh. I also decide, in that moment, that Kelly, the other one, and anyone else they're associated with are definitely my enemies.

I make myself calm down enough to press on. "So it's just the two of them you want to…'put in their place'?"

"Nope," she answers, a malicious look growing in her eyes. "We're taking over the whole school. Speaking of which…"

And, without any prompting at all on my part, she goes on to tell me the names and appearances of all the girls, and a few boys, that their gang of schoolyard bullies intend to go after; she even points out a few people in the mall. I listen intently, committing every name to memory, which I'm sure gives her a huge ego boost. Oh, if only she knew _why _I was paying so much attention. I quickly determine that the girl's a moron; telling all this to a total stranger, having known her for only a few minutes, especially considering I was just seen with someone she doesn't want all this information leaking out to. What a dumbass.

I let her go on about what poor kids they intend to beat into submission until my smoothie is a quarter of the way gone. When the information dried up, I took a big, long sip of my drink and smacked my lips. "I'll keep that in mind, man."

She nods happily, standing up. Sarah follows. "I'll see you at school on Monday," she says happily. "Meet us in the back of the parking lot, 'kay?"

"You got it, man," I say in a similarly fake, sweet way. "Oh, hey, before you go, there's a little favor I'd like to ask…?"

"Sure, what?"

"Could I use your phone, real quick?" I ask sweetly. "I need to call my mom, and mine's out of batteries."

"Uh…" She looks somewhat surprised, but apparently she still wants to keep me happy. "Well, sure, we don't mind…here." She hands me a nice, expensive phone, a touch-screen.

I take it, and a small thrill of excitement runs through me; finally, I can drop this gay-ass charade and show my true colors. "Nice phone," I comment, turning it over in my hand.

"Tha-"

Before she can finish thanking me, I hurl the iPhone at the ground, cracking the glass. I ignore her shocked protests as I stomp on it three times, until it falls apart completely, grinning as I do so.

"What the hell, you little bitch!" she screeches. "That's my phone!"

I laugh. "Yeah, I know it is, why do you think I broke it, man?"

Kelly stares down in horror at the broken pieces of her phone, as the other one glares at me. "You'll pay for this, bitch!"

"What are you gonna do about it?" I ask, laughing. I turn to walk back to the table where Tenshi and the others are sitting.

"Hey, where do you think you're going?!" the shorter one demands.

I look over my shoulder. "You guys are really stupid, you know that, Sasha…or, whatever your name is?"

She glares at me. "You're the one who's stupid! I _knew_ you were a freak! We should've known when you came in with that bitch!"

I laugh in agreement. "Yeah, you really should've. But you know what they say, live and learn, man."

Now Kelly looks really, really pissed, stepping up to me. "You're not going to get away with this," she snarls.

I set my smoothie down. "I already have, man."

She comes toward me like she's gonna punch me or something. I grab her by her hair and yank, and throwing her to the floor like a ragdoll.

"Hey, you can't-" The shorter one starts to come toward me angrily. I grab her by the front of her shirt, making her face me, and I can see fear in her eyes.

"Weren't the two of you just leaving?" I ask quietly, before releasing her. She steps back, looking at me with fear and resentment, before leaning down toward the girl I sent to the ground seconds ago.

I start to walk back again, felling quite victorious. Then after I walk a ways I remember the smoothie and go back for it, sipping it happily.

"That was fun, man," I say as I sit down.

"What did they want?" Tenshi asks. To my surprise, she's deadly serious. Her eyes follow the two as they exit the mall, intent, like a hawk. She frowns, and I see she that she's angry. The kind of anger you don't want to be set loose.

"Those bitches want to take over your school. I told them to fuck off." I took another sip of my smoothie, but then realize I've just about finished it.

"Is that so?" she mumbles. I pretend not to care, but I watch out of the corner of my eye.

"Angel." I was forced to look up at Akuma. Her tone was serious. There was no more spark of bubbly cheeriness in it. Her eyes are wide with fear, and her mouth trembles slightly. She lays her hand on Tenshi's arm. "Don't. Please . . . just don't."

It takes a while for Tenshi to snap out of it. But when she does, she looks directly at me, her eyes containing neither of her usual superiority nor condescension. I can't read them at all, and it freaks me out.

"If they talk to you again, I need you to tell me immediately. Can you do that?"

"Um, sure, man." I decide to ask her upfront what the hell this is all about, because while Itachi's silence isn't unusual, Deidara's sure is. "They said something about having, uh, 'put Dawn in her place'. What happened?"

"Nothing." Akuma replies quickly without glancing at Tenshi.

"That's right. Nothing."

"Neither of us did anything."

I narrow my eyes suspiciously. _Bullshit._

They clam up, but Deidara leans over to whisper in my ear. "If you ask Tenshi when Akuma's not around, she'll tell you. But they don't talk about it in front of each other, hm."

"Why the hell not?" I whisper back. "They obviously both know what happened."

"But they don't admit it. I don't get it myself, but the two of them have a very weird thing going on. Just wait for a bit, hm. I'm sure Tenshi will tell you, since you just got on her good side."

I give him an odd look, but he doesn't seem to be lying. I try to impress the details of what just happened into my memory. "'Kay...Anyways, if you need to know anything about their plans and all that crap, I can probably fill you in," I say, addressing Tenshi. "They took me at my word and told me all this random bullshit."

She narrows her eyes at me slightly, then slowly nods. "When we get back."

Akuma looks at the two of us, worried, biting her lip.

This is...strange. Since when did we become co-conspirators? I drain the last of my smoothie, looking at it in irritation. Suddenly the atmosphere at this table is far too serious for my taste, too still and too quiet, stifling me. I start to drum my fingers on the table, looking away, restless. I need to move.

"Mari," Itachi says suddenly, making me jump, and then get pissed off at myself for showing fear. "What is it you took from the red-haired girl?"

Oh, yeah. I grin mischievously. "Her iPod," I respond happily. "It really worked out, I've been wanting to get a new one, man..."

Akuma frowns in indignation. "Mari! That's _illegal_!"

"Yeah, extremely," I answer, my grin growing. "Don't you know that everything fun is illegal, Akuma? Just ask these guys," I finish, motioning toward the criminals with my head. Of course Itachi doesn't respond, but Deidara gives a small laugh.

Tenshi rolls her eyes. "Don't get caught. Last thing we need is the police getting involved."

"Psshh, as if. I'm sneaky as fuck, man."

"That's not true in the slightest."

"Hey, shut up! I got away with it, didn't I?"

"Whatever," Tenshi says, standing up. "Let's just get this over with."

"Oh yeah." I stand up, stretching, grimacing as I look around at the rest of the food court. I don't think anyone here would recognize me from like a milk carton or anything (do they still do that?), since I'm halfway across the country from where I started, but you never know. I haven't exactly kept up with the news, so they could still be looking for me...Tenshi's right, the last thing I need is the police getting involved.

"So, uh...how am I supposed to buy stuff? Since I guess you're not really down with shoplifting." I throw that last thing in just to mess with Akuma, and it works; she gives me a disapproving look, and I laugh. "Kidding, kidding..."

Tenshi pinches the bridge of her nose, sighing. I laugh harder.

* * *

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	5. Confessions and Drunken Trouble

Hey, it's been a while, hasn't it? Sorry about this. I'm very busy with school, Amaya has trouble with internet access, and add on the time difference and it's hard for us to collaborate. I hope you'll bear with us and keep reading.

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* * *

". . .Then there was this kid named Tony," I list off, bored and picking at my nails.

"Do you mean Tony White?" Akuma asks, worried.

"I don't know the people here, how the hell should I know, man?"

"Go on," Tenshi tells me, arms folded, solemn.

"Um, Patricia something or other, chick with black hair, kinda short?"

Akuma gasps. "That's my friend Kaori!"

"And . . . uh, I'm pretty sure that's everyone." I frown. "I've never really been good with names, man."

Tenshi nods seriously, turning to face Akuma. "You might want to call your friends and warn them."

Akuma bites her lip, nods, then scurries off to her room to call people. Geez, does she know _everyone? _Back when I went to school, I only had one friend, and everyone else was either an annoyance of a potential enemy.

Tenshi and I watch her run out silently. She turns back toward me and asks, "What else did they say?"

My eyes meet hers. "What happened between you guys?"

"What else did they say?"

"Why are you so concerned?" I press on. "What did they do to Akuma? Come on, I told you what you wanted to know, man."

Tenshi glares at me for a moment, a cold, no-nonsense look, but I'm not backing down. "Tell me the rest of what I want to know and we'll see." she commands in an authoritarian voice.

I scowl, swallowing my irritation. So this is Tenshi's good side, huh? If you ask me, it bears a striking resemblance to her bad one. "Fine, bossy. Well, they said they were trying to get a bunch of little bitches like them on their side, like they're recruiting for a gang or some shit. They wanted me to meet them in the back of the parking lot, and . . . something about some guy named Rick."

Her eyes narrow at the word. "What about him?"

I shrug. "I don't know, man, they mentioned it in passing. Now tell me what happened!" I complain, although I guess a more fitting word here would be 'whine'.

She seems to hesitate a bit, her mouth twisting slightly. She's looking me up and down pensively, a little mistrust mixed in. Finally, as I'm about to yell at her, she sighs.

"Fine. To start from the beginning, I met Rebecca, Kelly and Sarah at the mall the first time I took Deidara and Sasori there to shop for clothes. Rebecca showed interest in Deidara, but he blew her off by . . . pretending to be my boyfriend."

"_What_?" I couldn't help laughing at her face when she said that. "He's an asshole. What'ja do?"

"I splashed my smoothie in his face. Now be quiet." I frown and suppress a snort of anger at her condescending tone; as much as I'd like to tell her off, if I want to find out what this is all about I need to keep my mouth shut. "Later on, at school, I saw the three of them bullying Yuri, a friend of Akuma's. I intervened, and warned them not to mess with me or Akuma. You see, Akuma doesn't like bullying, but she's sweet and rather weak, so I made it clear to the whole school that I wouldn't tolerate it. These girls had just moved here. They didn't know about the rules I laid down, and enforced. I thought it would be over if I just pushed them a little."

"How's that turn out for ya?" I say sarcastically, casually, but my mind is racing. Jesus Christ, what the hell is with this chick? You have to hand it to her for standing up to bullies, but it sounds like she's effectively bullying a larger body of kids into doing what she wants . . . She's arrogant_ . . . but if she can pull it off . . . _I have to think about this later.

"I made a mistake. Several mistakes, in fact. If I hadn't, Akuma wouldn't have had to suffer." She rubs her finger in between her eyes, like she's tired. She sighs again. While it takes her a while to start talking again, I know that pushing at this point would make her clam up. This is another side of Tenshi I didn't know anything about until today; this hard-ass girl willing to push people around to get what she wants, but also willing to flat out admit to screwing up so badly that her best friend got hurt . . . and actually seeming to really care about it. I don't know quite what to make of it, but I once again decide to keep my mouth shut.

Eventually, she continues. "I gave them Akuma's real name. That was my first mistake. I thought her reputation as the only person who I listen to would make her safe. I was stupid. My second mistake was not realizing who those girls are."

"What are they?" They didn't seem to me like anyone to worry about.

"They moved from Los Angeles. I lived there a couple years back, and they went to the same school as me. It was a big school, so I never noticed them, but . . ."

"What's that got to do with it? So, you guys went to the same school, big deal!"

"The school we went to was called Jean Morom High, commonly referred to as J-M. It's a shitty school, a lot of the students are either in gangs, have a relative in one, rely on their protection, stuff like that. The neighborhood in general was controlled by the school gang, and the surrounding area was the battleground for gang fights. These girls weren't in one, but they had connections. They probably got ideas in their heads about being at the top of the food chain in this school, since it's not controlled by a gang. I make sure that none of them form, not that it's likely to happen, since it's a private school and much high up the social ladder than J-M was, but I still beat down anyone who gets any funny ideas."

"So . . . let me see if I get this. You think you should have recognized them? But what made you think they even wanted to take over the school?"

"Rebecca's brother, Rick, was in the gang that controlled the school. I'm not too worried about those girls trying to take over. None of them are worth shit in a fight, but Rick is pretty good. I can take him one on one, but if they all jump me at once-and I wouldn't put it past them-I'm dead. If he gets involved, this will get messy, but I seriously doubt he would. I heard he already beat a couple of guys up, so they might use him as a threat."

Several questions form in my head as I listen to her talk. She's talking about gangs, and fighting, like she's been there. How does she know this Rick guy is good in a fight? How does she know she could take him? Also, she's talking about gang politics and tactics for taking over, like she knows exactly how it works. There's only one way she'd know this much. I keep my suspicions to myself, since I really want to know what happened. Suddenly, I figure it out.

"They jumped Akuma, didn't they?" I nearly growl. She nods.

"It took me a while to figure it out, because they made sure not to mess her face up. But I got suspicious, called Yuri, had her hack into the school database, and got the information I needed."

"And that's when you jumped Rebecca?"

"Yes. I cornered her after school. That's how I know none of them can hold their own in a fight. Rebecca has the closest connection to gangs, and she was quivering so hard she would barely move."

Oh damn. I raise an eyebrow. "How bad did you beat her?"

"Broke her arm, her nose. Gave her a concussion. Beat her face till it was black and blue." She smiles sinisterly, like she's recalling something really fun. Oh _damn. _Looks like my suspicions were right. She shakes herself, the smile disappearing and replaced by her usual frown. "Akuma was upset. She doesn't like it when I fight. That's why we pretend this didn't happen."

I frown. This is a lot to take in. "She's dumb," I decide. "If you get hurt, and someone does something to protect you…" I swallow, a familiar bitter anger rising up in me again, threatening to choke me. "You should be grateful."

She gives me an odd look before telling me, "Don't call her dumb." But she doesn't look angry. She's giving me this intense, searching look, with narrowed eyes, like she's trying to read my thoughts –while meanwhile, what she's thinking is as much of a mystery as ever. I don't like it, so I look away. After a few seconds she turns to leave, and I remember another question I want answered.

"Hey, dude?" I ask as she heads out the door.

"Don't call me that." she snaps.

"Yeah, yeah . . . um, were you in a gang?"

She stares at me long and hard, and this time I can't read her expression at all. "No." she says. She leaves the room, leaving me behind, knowing that she just lied through her teeth.

* * *

"I am so fucking bored."

"Same here, man."

"Bitch, I wasn't asking you."

"Yeah, well, I answered anyways, fucking deal with it."

"Hey, fuck you!"

"Whatever, man," I mutter, staring up at the ceiling. Man, this place sucks! The first few days weren't quite what you'd call 'boring' since I was constantly fighting with Tenshi and getting startled by murderous fictional characters all the time, and then the other day we went to the mall, but now it's Monday with Akuma and The Bitch gone and I'm _bored out of my mother fucking mind. _One distinctive thing about being on the run, is you get used to running, always moving and doing something, never staying in one place for very long. Even if it means always being hungry and tired and living in fear, at least you're free. Not like now. Even with my brand, shiny new iPod (thank GOD for inattentive rich bitches), I'm not any more entertained. I mean, all that ho had on this thing that was even vaguely listenable is a couple Eminem songs. I need the internet to download some good songs, but Kakuzu's been on the laptop all day, and I'm not stupid enough to bug him about it.

So here I am, sitting in the living room trying to ignore the obnoxious soap opera Kisame's watching, arguing with Hidan. Deidara and Itachi also skulk around the living room, lounging on couches, looking as bored as I am. Although Tenshi's gone, no one sits in her chair, unbelievably. As soon as she left I made a beeline for it, ignoring Sasori's glare. Turns out I should've let myself be intimidated, seeing as how he flicked a finger and sent me sprawling onto the living room floor ridiculously. Have you ever been thrown around by chakra strings? Yeah, it's not fun. I shouted at him, but predictably he didn't care. I suspect he both likes Tenshi and dislikes me more than he lets on.

Anyways, I sat on the couch to watch TV all day; that is, until someone left the remote control unattended for long enough that Kisame got his hands on it and subjected us all to this stupid bullshit. It's only been half an hour and I'm already going insane! I'm even finding myself looking forward to Akuma and Tenshi's return from school, which is so mind-fuckingly twisted I can hardly believe I just thought that!

I can't sit here anymore. I need to move. I jump to my feet, heading for the hallway, thinking about how badly I want to ditch this place. The longer I stay here, the more likely I am to get killed, especially considering how obnoxious I am, but what can I do about it? Sasori, who's been mainly entrusted with the job of making sure I don't run away, has left to go help Konan and Pain do whatever-the-hell-it-is they do up there, but that doesn't mean I can just walk out the door. Look, even just walking into the hallway results in Deidara standing up and following me from a few steps away, looking bored as hell. I can't _stand _being baby-sat like this all the frickin' time, it's demeaning! Although I guess I don't mind if it's Deidara. He's the least scary out of all of them, other than Konan, and I don't see much of her.

"Do you have any particular place you're going, hm?" Deidara asks me in irritation after a minute or two. "Unbelievably, I have better things to do than tail you while you walk around aimlessly, hm."

"No you don't," I answer, facing him. "You're as bored as the rest of us."

He gives me a dirty look. "Still, hm."

I keep walking, ignoring the bored blonde bomber (try saying that ten times fast) following me as I walk past quaint family pictures, vases, a liquor cabinet, the staircase, wait, what-

I backtrack, running into Deidara, to look again at the practically overflowing cabinet of alcohol.

"Hey, what the-" Deidara follows me eyes, takes in the mischievous look on my face, and then rolls his eyes. "We wish. It's locked, hm."

"Aw, that's so cute how you say something's locked like it's gonna stop me!" I say, my grin growing as an idea forms in my mind.

He blinks in surprise, then chuckles slightly. "What are you gonna do, hm?"

"You'll see, man." I pull a bobby pin (far more useful than they appear to a resourceful individual) out of my right boot and lean down next to the lock to pick it. I bend the pin in half and stick both halves in, carefully jiggling and poking until I find the right crevices to press in. I grin, twist sharply, and hear the satisfying sound of the simple lock clicking open as the glass door pops open slightly. "Jackpot."

I stand up and glance at Deidara, who grins. "Nice work, hm."

"Thanks. Hey, guys!" I call into the living room. "Who wants to get hammered, man?"

"Already called it, stupid, the door's fucking locked!" Hidan calls back.

"Taken care of!" I sing.

There's a short pause before I hear Hidan come rushing through the hallway towards me. I sidestep him as he screeches to a stop in front of me. "Holy shit, bitch! What the hell did you do?"

I grin and hold up my bobby pin, feeling like a boss. "Picked the lock, it's simple as that. I mean, come on, all you elite ninjas couldn't come to that conclusion, after all this time, and it took the new kid, what, ten seconds?"

"I thought you said you _weren't_ a kid, hm," Deidara smirks.

I try to kick Deidara in the shin, but he easily moves, grinning. Damn ninja. I satisfy myself with glaring at him. "Whatever, man. Hey Hidan, think fast!" I throw a bottle of liquor toward him, which he catches, grinning. "Fuck yeah!"

Deidara reaches past me to get one, too, glancing at me. "You know, Tenshi's gonna be really pissed about this, hm."

I roll my eyes. "Well, there goes that plan!" I say sarcastically, the roll my eyes and get my own (huge) bottle, even though I'm not planning on getting _that_ drunk. I just wonder if once all the criminals are three sheets to the wind or -even better- passed out, I might be able to hightail it before any of them stops me. Best case scenario would be that they're all completely wasted by the time Tenshi gets back, and then I can grab the car keys and I'm golden. It even looks like it's about to rain...this could all come along nicely. Of course, even if it doesn't work, I can always just get drunk with fictional characters. That'd still be pretty badass.

Deidara smirks. "Just thought I'd warn you, she's not pleasant when she gets pissed, hm."

"You don't say."

He chuckles. "Yeah, last time we got drunk, it ended up with her coming at me with a knife, hm."

I laugh. "No shit? Why?"

His grin gets a particularly sleazy, shit-eating look as he opens his mouth to tell me.

"Who the fuck _cares! _Pass me a couple more bottles, homeless bitch, this ain't fucking enough!"

"Get your own!" I shout back, even though we're standing right next to each other.

"Little bitch!"

"Stupid fucker!"

"Homeless little slut!"

"Albino fuckwad!"

Our insults get progressively louder and more explicit, even as I hand him the bottles he asked for and we migrate into the living room to drink. I don't think either of us are legitimately mad at each other, we just argue and cuss out of habit. I pass out the bottles of alcohol to everyone in the room, including Itachi, which surprises me slightly, but I'm glad for it. Deidara gives me a somewhat odd look when I take a sip of my own bottle. "What?" I ask.

"Isn't it illegal here for kids to drink, hm?"

"Yeah, so? We're all criminals here, man."

He raises his visible eyebrow slightly, then smirks. "Oh, yeah, you're a runaway, hm."

"Don't forget thief," I remind him, bragging a little. I almost add 'arsonist', just because it sounds badass, but I remember that I want to keep that a secret as long as I stay here.

"Right."

"Tenshi will not be pleased," Itachi says monotonously, giving me a blank look with his pitch-black eyes.

I scowl. "So? I'm not scared of her, so why the hell should you guys be? Come on, are you S-class criminals or what, man?"

Hidan snorts. "That's what I've been sayin'! Anyways, you should be glad we listen to the bitch, otherwise I would've sacrificed your ass as soon as you walked in."

"How would you've gotten your liquor then?"

"I woulda' smashed through the damn cabinet, stupid."

"Oh yeah."

Kisame chuckles, drinking from his own bottle. "For a civilian, you sure are acting nonchalant about a death threat, kid. He's not joking, you know."

I grimace. "Yeah, I know . . ." _I've really got to remember that,_ I tell myself for the hundredth time. Even if it comes naturally to me to not show fear, ever, no matter how scared-shitless I am, I'm in over my head here. Tenshi's authority over them seems shaky at best, and none of them would hesitate to slaughter me. Of course, with most of them it's hard to forget that fact, as they're all threatening in either appearance or demeanor anyways. Deidara's probably the only one other than Konan that I don't feel particularly scared of. For one thing, it's hard to be intimidated by someone with long, girly hair, who wears eyeliner and paints his nails like a chick. Also, he's closest to my age, and more easygoing than most others here. Finally, back before my life went to hell and realities _stayed freaking separate, _he was my favorite character, after Naruto.

_Still, that doesn't mean I should let my guard down,_ I tell myself as I let their conversation go on without me, rising in volume and pitch, filling the air with a good, wholesome racket (although rock music would be better). _Forgetting he wouldn't hesitate to murder me is definitely a bad thing. _

I happen to glance down, toward his hand, and see its tongue eagerly licking the slick, cold bottle he's holding. Well, there's something to remind me. It's so bizarre...A lot weirder in real life than on a TV screen. I bet they're annoying as hell...Before I know it I'm staring, slightly perplexed, intrigued by the strangeness.

"It's rude to stare, Mari, hm."

I blink and look up at him, scowling at his amused smirk. "Well, sorry. It's not something you see every day in this world, man," I reply abrasively, somewhat embarrassed at getting caught staring.

His grin widens. "Hey, no need to be embarrassed. You like, hm?" he teases, holding his hands out palm-first toward my face, snickering at my reaction when I lean away from the flicking tongues.

"You're ridiculous, man."

"I didn't hear a no, hm."

I laugh slightly and roll my eyes. "Whatever, you egotistical pyro."

He grins and withdraws his hands from my face. Thank God. I frown, then ask, "Hey, don't they ever get annoying? Like, what if you have to pick something up really gross, or shake someone's hand, or something?"

"I'm used to it, hm."

I nod, drinking some more liquor, although I force myself to take it slow. I have a high tolerance thanks to generations of drunkards, but I give myself about two-thirds of this bottle before I'm stumbling around, incapacitated. Even if I don't end up getting a good opportunity to escape, getting wasted around them is _not _a good idea.

I glance up at the clock on the wall. 2:48. That means there's about an hour and a half before they get back, along with their truck. _Come on, guys, drink up..._

Well, turns out I get my wish. Deidara, Hidan, and Kisame all go through their bottles of liquor within half an hour, although me and Itachi aren't near done with our first bottles. As Hidan, Kisame and Deidara stumble back into the hallway to get more liquor (none of them trusting the others to get some for all of them), I glance at Itachi, to see to my surprise that he's gazing at me with his blank, unrevealing eyes. _Uh-oh._ I need to not arouse his suspicion, because as long as I'm in the rain (which has started by now) before he can catch me, I'll be fine. I wonder if he's guessed that I'm only pretending to drink every third sip I take. Wouldn't surprise me if he did.

"Aren't you afraid of us?"

I blink, not expecting him to talk. "Huh?"

"Aren't you afraid of the Akatsuki? And if so, why do you behave as though you are not?"

I scowl, staring him down. "What brought this up, man?"

"You're stalling."

I glare at him, then look away, my mouth twisting. "I'm always scared," I mutter, almost imperceptibly.

Itachi doesn't react, just continues to look at me impassively, but I still immediately regret showing weakness. What the hell was I thinking? Alcohol always makes me say stupid shit. That, and break things. And fight people. Oh, shit, that's not good. I firmly instruct my brain that I am, under no circumstances, to try and fight any of the Akatsuki, no matter how drunk I may end up getting.

Suddenly, someone trips over me, and I hear the sound of glass shattering. "Ow! Shit fuck! What the hell, Hidan!" I snap, seeing him sprawled on the living room floor, angrily cursing.

"It's your fault for sitting in my fucking way!" he snaps, starting to bleed from falling on broken shards of glass.

"Yeah, it was a malicious act," I respond sarcastically. "I purposely sat here, just to have you trip over me and fall on your face."

"Hey, fuck you!"

"You're a goddamned ninja, couldn't you have caught yourself?" I snap, rubbing my back. "Besides, you kicked me in the fucking back, man!"

"That's your problem, whore!"

"Dick noodle!"

"Cunt!"

"Shithead!"

"You said that last time!"

"Deal with it, man!" There are only so many variations of 'fuck' I can use before I start to run out. Even I have my limits when it comes to being foul-mouthed.

"You guys are really annoying," Kisame slurs, being the drunkest so far. "If I had Samehada, I'd..."

"Aw, let 'em argue," Deidara disagrees, chuckling. "They're funny, hm."

"Fuck you, blondie!" I snap, reminding myself of Tenshi for a horrifying moment.

"You know what's also funny to watch? Deidara fucking with Tenshi." says Hidan, throwing himself down on the couch and taking a swig of his bottle. "It's the only fun thing to watch around here, it's so fucking boring it makes me want to peel my skin off just so I can see some fucking blood. So I watch Deidara fuck with that little bitch, at least it's entertaining, especially when she pulled that knife on him. By the way, blondie, what'ja say to her last time? She was screeching in some weird language, she was so fucking mad!"

"Yeah, man. You mentioned that before." I pitch in.

"I'd also like to know . . ." Kisame says, rubbing his chin.

Deidara's stupid grin returns. He's loving withholding the info from us, his captive audience. He takes a long draught from his bottle, before leaning forward, grinning so hard his face is almost cut in half. For a moment the tension was strung around the room, before being suddenly broken by Deidara's burst of laughter.

"Sorry, not telling!" He stuck all three tongues out in a mischievous way, winking at me.

"Aw, man! Don't leave us hanging, you bastard!" I cuss at him some more, but he doesn't budge.

"Hey, Itachi? What, are you done already, hm?"

"I do not wish to have a hangover. I suggest that you stop, for your own good."

Deidara reddens in anger. "If I had clay right now, I'd blow you…" He pauses with a drunk hiccup. "…to bits, hm!"

I snort. "Nice save, Deidara…"

They all give me odd looks. "What the hell does that mean, hm?"

I shake my head as common sense starts to sink in a little. "Never mind…it's probably better for me if you don't figure it out, anyways."

Deidara looks confused, but somehow I'm in luck. He lets it go and takes another long chug from his bottle.

"You know what..." Hidan slurs, sounding somewhere between "hammered" and "wasted". "Come to think of it, I haven't made a sacrifice to Jashin in a long-ass time...I would've, but Leader got all pissy about us not killing the fur ball or the bitch."

"That is _bullshit_," I say agree, half-joking, hoping to change the subject. Talking about Hidan needing to kill someone, isn't a subject I feel comfortable with, shockingly enough.

"Yeah, it really is. You know what though?" Hidan asks suddenly, looking at me with a dangerous look in his eyes. "He never said anything about not killing you, _Mari."_

Uh-oh. "I'm...pretty sure it's implied, man," I reply nervously.

"I don't think it is," Hidan replies, a demented grin growing on his face. "And I think you'd make a fucking excellent sacrifice; Jashin would like your attitude."

_Uh-oh, fucking big time uh-oh! _"I disagree," I say, getting to my feet slowly, my heart starting to beat faster.

"Oh, don't be that way," Hidan chides me, murder visible in his eyes now, and none of the rest of them show any signs of wanting to stop him, and oh shit, I'm so fucked..."Like I said, when you fall in the hands of Jashin-sama he'll probably take it easy on you. He might even let you be his fucking servant, how does that sound, bitch?"

I tense up.

He grabs a bottle by the neck.

I bolt from the room.

"Hey! Get back here and quit being a pussy!" Hidan shouts angrily, stumbling to his feet, and I'm still holding mine, and I can't let him catch me, if he even gets close I'm dead meat. I hear sounds of pursuit getting closer, I force myself to turn around and throw my full bottle back at Hidan's face, distracting him as he stops and cusses, blood and liquor momentarily blinding him.

I race for the kitchen, heart in my throat, terrified. I grab a random cup and start to fill it with cold water.

"Sit still and die like a good sacrifice, you homeless little bitch!" Hidan roars, stumbling after me into the kitchen.

I turn, eyes wide.

He lunges toward me, sharp broken bottle aiming for my arm.

I throw the water on him just as the glass pierces my skin, praying that Akuma was telling the truth-

_Poof! _

A cloud of white smoke fills the kitchen. I look down and see a silvery-gray kitten, stumbling around and hissing angrily. My eyes widen as the bottle falls to the floor and shatters. I try and catch my breath. _Damn, that was close, _I think, picking up the kitten Hidan by the scruff of his neck, ignoring his hissing and squirming as I look for someplace to put him. Blood drips down my arm as the adrenaline fades and the cut starts to really sting. I march back into the living room, Hidan in tow.

"Oh, so you survived," Kisame notices, chuckling at the silvery kitten in my left hand. "Tough luck, Hidan."

I glare at him. "Thanks for the help, _guys," _I snap sarcastically, glaring at them.

"Anytime, hm," Deidara answers, laughing.

"We did warn you," Kisame tells me.

I scowl and go to throw Hidan in a nearby closet. Let him sleep it off there, psychotic murderous creep . . . Once he's taken care of I inspect my shoulder wound, grimacing. It won't need stitches, but I'll need to clean it and bandage it, or else it'll get infected. My heart beating considerably faster than normal, the blood is spilling out faster than normal . . . Great, just great. Trying to calm myself down, I venture into the first-floor bathroom in search of bandaging material. Well, it wouldn't be a complete day until I had some kind of near-death experience, now would it? _This might have been a bad idea after all, _I think idly as I try and staunch the bleeding.

I've just finished wrapping the gauze around my arm when I hear the sound of a huge crash and things breaking coming from the living room. (That sounded expensive.) I groan. _Tenshi's gonna flip a shit . . ._

Suddenly I hear a car pulling into the driveway outside . . . _And speak of the devil. _I check through the window; yep, it's still raining. I'd better beat it quick, things are starting to go downhill fast around here.

Just then I hear another crashing noise, along with the sound of Deidara's raucous laughter.

. . . Yeah, I need to get outta here, _quick._

* * *

I was thinking very, very hard. The swish of the windshield wipers clearing water away, back and forth, back and forth, lulled me into a strange stupor as I drove home from school. I was barely paying attention to the road, or to Akuma's babbling about her day. The other day, we'd driven back after shopping, the car filled with the loudest metal music I could find, which seemed to suit the brat perfectly, in order to down out both the silence and the attempts at conversation. I'd made up my mind to tell the brat about the incident, because she seemed at least somewhat trustworthy. But even more than that, she had information which could be useful to me, and I was right, it was very useful indeed. I now knew everyone who was part of the little conspiracy those girls had decided to start, and I knew exactly who to take out in order to make it crumble to pieces.

But I was afraid I might have told her a little too much. I'd gotten caught up in explaining things to her, and let slip things that I shouldn't have. But, I suppose no harm was done, in the end. Who was she going to tell? What was she going to do? I knew I could take her in a fight, if it came down to it and I was serious. It wouldn't be easy, but I was confident enough.

I gripped the steering wheel, my knuckles turning white. I never thought I'd have to deal with this _here_ of all places. I'd gotten careless. And now my only ally was a homeless brat with a loud mouth and loose at best control over her temper. It was obvious she knew nothing of strategy. She hadn't thought it through, when she confronted those girls. The smart thing to do would have been to keep up the charade, gather more information, or in the event she decided she wanted nothing to do with them, simply forget about it. She had no connection to them, she didn't go to the same school, attacking them like that served no purpose except to vent her anger and indulge in her sense of righteousness. On top of that, she'd branded herself as my ally instead of keeping the appearance of neutrality. _Idiot._

I decided that I would keep her out of this. She was too unpredictable to be trusted. I would put down those deluded fools who thought they had what it took to build a gang on my turf. I would make Akuma mad if she found out, but events were spiraling out of control and I had to intervene before it was too late.

I drove up and parked in the driveway. Akuma sauntered out with her usual happy bouncy gait and grabbed our bags from the backseat. I unlocked the front door, and in we were.

Whatever I expected, this wasn't it. It was way too loud. There was laughing, the screaming of insults, crashing, voices sounding a lot more boisterous and aggressive than they had any right to be. I listened, frozen, for several seconds. I felt my heart sink right into my stomach as I realized what was going on.

I face-palmed. "Akuma, do something for me, would you?" my voice came out muffled from behind my hand.

"Sure." she had started to realize something was wrong. She tilted her head to the side.

"Be a doll and grab my bokuto. I'll be in the living room, so don't come in. In fact, lock yourself in your room, and don't make any noise. This is going to be a long, long night." I spoke in a dreary tone, already exhausted, a headache beginning to pound between my temples. I could feel my throat getting raw just at the thought of all the screaming I would be doing.

"Ah . . . sure! Are you going to need help?"

"Just get my bokuto. Actually, get both of them. My spare is in the closet, top shelf."

As soon as she was gone, I headed towards the side door, taking the long route to avoid being seen or heard. Normally I'd have been detected, but the circumstances were different.

"Where the hell do you think you're going?" I said.

The shadow that was tiptoeing to the door froze and twitched. I rubbed my temple.

"Car keys are here." I jiggled them. "And the rain stopped. Sorry, brat, nice try. Good idea, getting them drunk. I'll be sure to get rid of all the liquor in the house after this fiasco's over."

The shadow straightened and turned towards me.

"How'd you know?" Mari said gruffly. She had her bag slung over her back, fully packed. She glared angrily at me, fists clenched.

"Don't ever make the mistake of thinking I'm stupid. You're not going anywhere." I spoke in a tone that made it clear I would accept no retaliation.

Mari glared at me, tensed up. Her eyes darted from me, to the door behind me, back to me again, narrowing further. She readied herself for something, either to run or to fight, still looking at me.

I raised my eyebrows at her. I was much closer to the front door than she was; if she tried to run I would catch her from here. Her only other option was to go for the back door, which was of course blocked by the Akatsuki. She was trapped, and she knew it. She swallowed. "Why do you care, anyways?" She asked in a low voice. "You could just tell Pain I was gone when you got home."

"Didn't I just tell you that I'm not stupid? Face it, it's not happening. Now, you made a mess, and you're going to help me deal with it."

Mari was spitting mad, having no choice. "Fine, you bitch!" she spat angrily, throwing her backpack onto the floor and kicking it in frustration. "You can't keep me here forever, you know!"

"Yeah, yeah. Now _march_." I directed her towards the living room, walking behind her to make sure she wouldn't make a break for it.

We met up with Akuma in the entryway. She handed me both bokuto, and I gave her a small pat on the head.

"I'll bring you something to eat later, 'kay?" She nodded, and returned upstairs, where she would be safe. I turned to the brat.

"Can you handle a sword?"

"Of course not." she scoffed.

"Too bad." I threw the second bokuto at her, and she was so surprised she barely caught it. She fumbled a little, but managed to get a handle on it. She stared back and forth, from me to the wooden sword, with mind-bogglingly wide eyes, like she was torn between confusion and anger…and confusion was winning. I decided this was not the time to give her instructions in how to hold it properly. "That's in case something happens. Just swing it like a club."

"Geez, man, they're just drunk! They're not _that_ bad."

"'Just' drunk, huh? How many drinks have they had? Deidara gets really touchy-feely, Kisame overly sensitive, Kakuzu's temper goes on a joyride, and Hidan tries to sacrifice anything that moves."

"But I took care of him! He's a freaking cat now!" she protested.

"Oh, yeah? Than how come I can hear him swearing all the way here? Stop complaining. We need to get them under control, and we might need to use force to do so. I just hope Itachi didn't pass out. He's a real light-weight, and we could use all the help we can get. Sasori is probably busy with Pein, and the room is soundproofed. I do not want, under any circumstances, Pein to know about this. So this is how it's going to go: you watch my back, and I watch yours. Keep yourself under control, do not antagonize anybody, and if you hit, don't hold back. Put your weight into it. Are we clear?"

She didn't look amused at my tone, and glared at me for a couple of seconds before nodding grudgingly, fingers tightening around the bokuto.

Off we were, to wrestle with the drunken Akatsuki.

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	6. The Drunken Trouble Continues

Really sorry about the wait, guys. It's my fault, this should have been up days ago-it just slipped my mind.

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I have never known anyone better at screwing up than me. Seriously, it's chronic -it's like every situation I touch explodes. Imagine all I could destroy if I tried...

While Tenshi (at my suggestion) sets up emergency cups of cold water on the counter -all the while holding the sword with ease and experience- I try and do a quick rundown of the situation, my mind racing with the quickness and slyness that only a street kid can possess.

Now I wish I hadn't drank; it's hard to think with alcohol in your blood. I rapid-fire through thoughts of anger and embarrassment at being caught -by _her, _a bitchy _teenager_, it doesn't _get_ any more humiliating than that!- and that much further from freedom; anger at myself for underestimating her when I should know not to underestimate a teenage girl; frustration at having to cooperate with her under these circumstances; annoyance that I look even more like an idiot for having no idea how to handle a sword (sword fighting hasn't been relevant since the Middle Ages, for chrissake, how was I supposed to know anything about it?!); and most of all, outright distrust of Tenshi. Watch her back and she'll watch mine, huh? Load of bullshit. As generally pissed off as I am with her, I'm willing to suck it up and watch her back for a short period of time (if Pain finds out I am capital F _Fucked_) but why the hell should she do the same? It would be ten million times easier for her to intentionally try to get me killed by them -she wouldn't even have to explain herself to Akuma- since she has Pain's protection and I don't. I wouldn't put it past her.

Man, I'm so screwed. "So, what's the mission objective here, exactly?" I ask casually as I try to nonchalantly copy how Tenshi's holding her sword. I think she catches me.

"Get the drunks to their respective rooms and keep them there before they destroy any more of the house. Oh, and keep them away from Akuma's room. If she gets hurt, those guys will have more than a hangover to worry about."

You know what, fuck it. Nothing I can do about it now, so there's no reason to brood about it. Considering I very well could die in the next hour or so, I figure I should fit as much fun into this next fight as I can; when's the last time I got to fight full-out? Sneaking around doesn't suit me, but it's what a runaway has to do most of the time. I look down at how I'm standing, sword up and feet apart, holding the sword like a baseball bat and ready to swing full throttle. Then I let out a loud bark of laughter that earns me a strange look from Tenshi.

"What the hell do you have to be cheerful about, brat?" she snaps.

I snicker again. "This is badass, I feel like a samurai Charlie's Angel!" I cock a hip and bring the sword up to my face. "Full throttle, mothahfucka!"

Tenshi looks at me like she really wishes she hadn't just heard that. "You're holding it wrong; could you at least try to hold it properly? Left hand on the bottom, right hand at the guard, hold it out in front of you with the point held at your opponent's . . ."

"Yeah, yeah, I thought you said you wouldn't give me any instructions, eh?" I gave a couple of practice swings. Man, this thing was awesome!

"I was," she says sullenly. "But watching you wave my bokuto around like a vulgar pipe is irritating me to no end. Maybe I'll give you lessons when this is over." I hardly heard that last part, since I was too busy swinging my sword around, pretending to cut things. I bet I looked badass. The feeling disappears when I knock a light bulb out.

Tenshi looks at me suspiciously. "...Have you been drinking?"

I laugh again. "A little," I grin sheepishly.

Tenshi stares at me for a second.

"AH-OW!" I complain when she thumps me in the head with the handle of the sword, jumping away and feeling my head for a sore spot. "What the fuck, man?!"

"_Focus,_" Tenshi snaps. "How am I supposed to fight them if I have to keep you from being an idiot?"

I snarl. "How am _I _supposed to fight 'em if I'm expecting you to hit me in the damn head?!"

"So don't make me do it again. Come on, we have work to do."

I curse and complain angrily as I follow her, still rubbing my head. "And there's no need to be so damn serious, either!" I rant as we walk toward the living room. "Man, don't you have any sense of humor or fun at all?"

"I hardly see how this is fun."

"Oh, bullshit, we get to fight!" What you see here is the "Blurting" phase of drunkenness. Luckily "Violence" comes next (the last three are "Pyro", "Emo Corner" and "Sleep", in case anyone's interested).

She cuts her eyes toward me so briefly I might've imagined it, but now we're in the living room, and chaos reigns. I survey the scene.

Kisame is screaming hysterically at a buzzing TV screen with a dilapidated-looking stereo laying on the side that Katy _never_ should've left Samuel just because of her amnesia (why that _bitch_), Deidara is adding things to a half-full bottle of liquor with an insane look in his eyes (Molotovs? This afternoon's _really _gonna be fun, then), Itachi is watching Deidara with a slightly disapproving look (most powerful guy here can't lift a finger to keep us from all getting exploded), and Hidan is...throwing liquor bottles at the wall and drunkenly screaming about heathens (I don't even have a comment for this one).

Tenshi gives me one last look of loathing before shouting, "What the HELL are you doing?!"

All heads turn toward us, except Hidan's, who seems to be still preoccupied with sacrificing the wall.

"Oh hey Tens-" a very tipsy Deidara starts.

"SAVE IT!" Kisame and Deidara flinch. I assume it's because they're drunk off their asses. "Who the hell do you think you are, trashing my house?! Are you kidding me?! Didn't I tell you the damn rules..." Then she launches off into this long rant in French.

"Je vous avais pas dit? Pas d'alcool dans ma maison ! Regarder ce que vous avez fait, le salon est complètement bousillé ! Mais, vous vous prenez pour qui ? J'en ai marre de devoir vous surveiller comme des gamin, moi, j'ai autre chose à faire ! Venez pas pleurnicher pour que j'm'occupe de vous quand vous vous réveillerez avec la gueule de bois, j'vous aurez prévenu !" I sweatdrop. _Shit, I thought _I _was the hothead here, _I think as I watch her swing her sword around and seem to almost froth at the mouth. When she's done, and still breathing heavily, I clear my throat and add, "Ditto."

"Oh don't be so uptight Tenshi!" Kisame answers, laughing nervously. "We're just having a little fun!"

"You are shinobi, not teenagers at Spring Break!"

"You look like you need a drink, hm," Deidara laughs unnecessarily loudly.

"You kinda do," I tell her.

"Don't even get me started on you two!" she snaps. I give her an unimpressed look while Deidara starts laughing even harder.

"Yeah, it's all her fault, hm," he says. "She gave us liquor! Beat her up, hm!"

"Watch it, you drunk asshole bomber!"

"I don't care if she forced you all to snort cocaine! You trashed my living room, you stupid, crazy, idiotic..."

"Kisame, what are _you_ laughing at?"

"'Drunk asshole bomber'...you made that sound wrong..."

"Are you mocking me, hmm?!"

"FUCK THIS SHIT!" Hidan suddenly roars. We all look at him stumbling around, eyes unfocused. The last time I saw someone that drunk, well, that old hobo ended up getting shot. "Fucking...heathens! Jashin-sama will...fucking smite...WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT, BITCH!" he screams at Tenshi. I would be terrified if he was able to walk a straight line.

"You need to calm down," I tell him as he starts toward Tenshi.

Make that my eighty-ninth mistake today. He turns from her to me. "YOU! Little sneaky whore...fucking kill you!" He lunges toward me, or well, tries to lunge. I'm sure if he was sober I'd be dead by now. As it is, he ends up veering four feet to the right. Deidara thinks this is hysterical.

I sweatdrop again, then look toward Itachi. "It's only been ten minutes! How'd he get this drunk?"

Kisame answers for him, grinning. "It has to do with his being immortal."

"Huh?"

"DON'T FUCK WITH ME!" Back on his feet, Hidan continues to screech. "I'm not drunk, bitch, I'm...immortal! I'm immortal, you Jashin-damned-"

This is the exact moment when Tenshi hits him in the head with her sword. Square in the middle of his head.

"Nice one. That was getting annoying."

"Don't mention it."

He groans and doubles over slightly, turning away from both of us.

He's in perfect range.

If I hadn't drank earlier I'd probably have some amount of hesitation about it, but I did, so I don't. Before he can move I bash him as hard as I can in his temple. "That's for trying to kill me, you fuckin' psycho!"

I'm not sure what I expected him to do, but collapsing on the ground sure wasn't on the list. I stare in disbelief as the immortal, elite ninja seems to pass out on the living room floor. "I can't believe that worked," I say, in shock. I nudge his shoulder with my sword, stepping way from him, knowing that if I get too close he'll come back to life and stab me through the eye. I've seen movies. "Do you think he's out?"

"Not for long," Tenshi answers, frowning at him. "Isn't he supposed to be immortal?"

"I believe he has merely passed out from the alcohol," Itachi cuts in tiredly.

"Oh." I make a face. "That's a little disappointing."

"Disappointing?" Kisame asks, frowning at me.

"Yeah, how cool would it have been if I'd knocked out Hidan?" I grin. "Major bragging rights, man!"

"If you'd actually injured Hidan, you wouldn't live long enough to brag about it."

I jump a mile at the sound of Kakuzu's low, gravelly voice behind me. For five seconds I'm terrified that he's come to snap my neck as retribution for hitting his partner in the head.

I couldn't be further from the truth. Kakuzu gives a dark chuckle. "I came down here to knock out my idiot of a partner, and see you girls have beaten me to it." His eyes meet mine with a look of amusement that would chill the bones of hardened soldiers and murderers alike, which is probably his excuse for a warm smile. "For what it's worth, you have my gratitude. I will never let him forget this," he says with apparent relish. "Perhaps it will serve to quiet him when we are on missions once again."

I have to force myself not to gulp nervously. _Ninjas. Are. TERRIFYING._

"Yeah, well, if you're so grateful, why don't you do us a favor and carry him to his room?" Tenshi suggests. "He shouldn't be too much trouble if you turn him into a cat."

"Well said." Kakuzu grabs Hidan by his collar and starts to drag him into the kitchen.

Before they leave I shout, "Man, you got knocked the FUCK out!"

I laugh and turn back to Tenshi, grinning as she glares at me. "This is fun!"

"You're an idiot."

"And you're a hater."

"Do you _want _to die tonight?"

"Live fast, die pretty."

"You're an insufferable brat."

"You're stressed."

"And you're drunk."

"Actually not that much, that's the _fucked-up _part."

"You don't say," she drawls sarcastically.

Deidara and Kisame turn back and forth between us as we have our argument, like they're watching a tennis match. I'm kind of getting into it.

"Seriously dude, you outta loosen up and live a little! What are you, some eighty year old grandpa?"

"I refuse to dignify that with an answer."

"Ah, just did, dumbass."

The heads are going back and forth, back and forth, as Tenshi and I trade a couple more jabs. Finally, she gets sick of it.

"Kisame!" He jumps. "Go to your room!"

"I am not a child . . ."

"NOW!"

He sullenly lowers his head and meanders over to the door, slams into the doorframe, somehow gets through without tearing a hole through the wall, and we heard his heavy footsteps up the stairs. A couple of crashes later and his door slams safely shut. Or at least, I _think_ it's his door. Oh, no, it isn't, there's the sound of him getting kicked out. Yeah, there's another door . . . silence, let's hope he made it . . . and he did! Two down, one to go!

"Tenshi, hm!" I turn around as Deidara tries to hug her. She sidesteps with a look of disgust. "Come on, don't run!"

"Any girl would run away from you! Now quit it!" she hisses.

I laugh my ass off at that. "Trying to pull a move on _Ice Queen_? How drunk _are _you, man?"

"Shut up!" Tenshi snaps at me as she moves out of the way again.

Deidara keeps lunging at her and she keeps dodging at the last moment. Finally, he face plants on the couch.

"Are you done?" she says acidly when he doesn't get up.

"Oh man, I hope he's not! That's fucking hilarious, man!"

"Oh, be quiet. Wait, what's that smell?"

"What smell?" My eyes wander around the room. I see the Molotov Deidara concocted. The tip of the cloth is one fire. "Shit!"

I go for it, but she's quicker. She grabs it and throws it out the window, grabbing my hand and shoving me down behind the couch. It explodes outside, blowing glass into the house.

Man, we were screwed.

**How Drunk Everyone Is (A Handy-Dandy Reference Material)**

**Itachi: Slightly buzzed. No noticeable difference; maybe a tad more talkative, although that might just be a random occurrence.**

**Deidara: Drunk, leaning toward hammered. Says stupid things (I mean, more than usual). Reckless enough to make a homemade bomb with a whiskey bottle or try to hug Tenshi. Motor control and coordination 20% diminished.**

**Mari: Buzzed and slipping into Drunk. Blurts things and takes risks like taunting a furious drunk Hidan. Violent tendencies more noticeable. Motor control and coordination %5 diminished (in other words, perfect combat drunkenness).**

**Kisame: Very hammered. Cannot comprehend that even if the TV was turned to his soap operas at the moment, they would not be able to hear him. In between bouts of rage can be counted on to be dazed and giddy. Motor control and coordination 30% diminished.**

**Hidan: Hammered Out Of His Motherfuckin' Mind. Attempts to sacrifice a wall. Any normal human would have died of alcohol poisoning. IQ has dropped to that of Forest Gump dropped on the head as a child. Motor Control and Coordination 75% diminished.**

**Tenshi: Sober.**

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	7. Taking Action

Yeah, it's been a while. Well, this time around we worked really hard, and have two chapters for you guys! So, review.

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I pressed Mari's head down into the floor and closed my eyes as glass rained from above. The couch shielded us from the worst of the blast, and it wasn't as bad as I feared. The brat shoved me away and I took my hand off her hair, wiping my hand on my jeans, resisting the urge to scratch it.

"What the heck was that?" she yelled. The carpet had left an imprint on her face. "Why'd you . . ."

"Go check if Deidara's still alive," I said briskly. She glowered at me for a moment, but did as she was told, prodding the bomber with her steel tipped boots. He stirred, so I took that to mean he wasn't dead. Hair a little singed, perhaps, but I doubt he would suffer any lasting damage.

"Tenshi!" I turned to see Sasori barging into the room, Pein on his heels.

"Hey Red. Nice of you to come." I said acidly. "Shouldn't you people keep a better eye on them?"

"What happened?" Pein said in that voice of his, promising trouble. I felt more than saw Mari stiffen behind me, hidden from Pein's view as she crouched next to Deidara. She had been in the process of opening and closing his hand mouths like puppets.

"They got into the liquor cabinet." I said without skipping a beat. I didn't dare look at the brat, but her surprise was evident, if quickly concealed. "We were trying to break the party up. Until Deidara made a bomb." I jerked my chin over to the broken and charred window. "I expect to be compensated. Those are the rules."

Mari straightened, and I prayed for her to keep her mouth shut for once.

Pein's eyes narrowed. "I see. You will be compensated. I . . . apologize for the commotion." He didn't sound apologetic, more angry at being interrupted than anything else.

"Fine. But I'm adding a new rule. No more alcohol in this house. I'll be getting rid of the rest." Especially with the brat around. I wouldn't put it past her to pull a stunt like this again. Part of me wondered if it wouldn't be better to shove her outside. Let her fend for herself, if it meant that much to her. Sadly, I was overruled in that regard.

Pein nodded again, ordered Sasori to pick up Deidara (he did that with some disgust), and returned to his chambers.

"Why'd you do that, man?" she sounded angry. I ignored her and fetched a broom and pail. She followed me to the kitchen and back, demanding an answer. I don't think she was pleased at me covering for her.

"I did that," I explained, showing a damp towel in her hands. "Because if Pein were to know, I imagine he would do something Akuma would get sad about. Start cleaning."

I started to sweep while she looked at the towel in her hands like she didn't know what to do with it.

"Everything comes back to her with you." she remarked. Then, she clutched her head. "Man, I'm getting a headache."

"I've heard alcohol does that to you. Are you going to clean or not?"

"Alright, don't get your panties in a knot . . ." she grumbled and started to wipe the ash of the furniture. "Why, though? You've never said."

"No particular reason." I said shortly. "We've been together for a long time."

"Like, how long?"

"Since we were kids."

"That makes you childhood friends?"

"Obviously."

"And how did you meet?"

I quickly made up a lie, my face showing nothing. "We were in kindergarten together."

"Oh."

I couldn't actually believe this, were we having an actual civil conversation? The world must be coming to an end.

We finished cleaning up, in silence. She helped me tape cardboard over the broken windows, and I made pizza for dinner. She followed me when I brought up the food to eat with Akuma in her room. Akuma had been concerned, but she had done as she was told and stayed in her room. That made me feel better.

Snores and pain filled moans drifted from the Akatsuki's rooms. It seemed like the crisis was over for now. I left Mari and Akuma in her room, and they chatted-or more like Akuma talked and talked and talked . . . while the brat nodded awkwardly. She appeared to be very uncomfortable.

I cleaned the liquor cabinet out, emptying the contents down the sink and putting the bottles to be recycled. By the time I was done, night had fallen. I went up to my room and collapsed on my bed. This was so tiring. And I would have to do something about the windows-the cardboard wouldn't stop the rain for long. I'd have to manage, somehow. There was so much to take care of, it made my head pound.

That reminded me . . . next Monday . . . I would have to go and take care of some more trash. I still hadn't come up with a plan to nip that pathetic excuse for a gang right in the bud. Whatever I did, it would have to be done quickly. I didn't dare leave Akuma alone at school, but Yuri had already reported that several students had been jumped. It was only a matter of time.

I sat up abruptly, and rubbed my finger down the bridge of my nose. One good thing came out of the Brat showing up. If she hadn't, I might not have noticed things had gotten this bad. And I had names, too, those targeted, those behind the whole thing. Yuri had given me their schedules; I knew when they would meet. I knew to stick to crowded areas, as much as those made me sick, because their plan was obviously to gang up on me, using surprise. Rick wasn't involved; he knew me. He knew what I could do, and besides, he used to be a friend. What was surprising was that Rebecca hadn't told her friends who I was. She knew, Rick knew, and if they knew, they would never be so stupid as to try something like this. No one who attended J-M would persist in going up against me once they knew.

I bit my thumbnail. My paranoia was creeping up on me. But what if they _did_ know? What if Rick really _was_ involved? What if, what if, what if they found a way to corner Dawn, what would I do then? What if Dawn found out what I was planning?

Blood pounded through my ears. I winced and clutched my head, feeling nauseated. I badly wanted to hit something, or someone.

There was a knock at the door. It opened without me answering.

"Akuma is asking if she can leave her room now." The Brat sullenly asked.

"I'll tell her myself."

"Fine." She shuffled awkwardly. She wasn't leaving. Why wasn't she leaving?

"Did you want something?"

"Huh . . ."

"If not, go away."

"Well screw you too." She slammed the door. What was her problem?

_Jesus H. Christ, she's rude, _I think as the door slams loudly behind me, as I slowly trudge my way back to Akuma's room. Although, in all honesty I'm kind of glad for a reason to leave. Otherwise I might've ended up just awkwardly standing there, then slowly backing back up into the hallway...

I don't know what it was I wanted to ask her. After I'd been given a few hours to think about what happened (not to mention having to explain to Akuma how Tenshi saved my ass and, consequently, listen to her rambling for half an hour about her delusions about our growing "friendship"), I wasn't angry. Just confused. And slightly unnerved.

_Why did she pull me out of the way of the Molotov? Why did she cover for me in front of Pein?_ The questions relentlessly chase themselves around my head, even as I make idle small talk with Akuma about various anime (when she found out I was a fellow anime geek, she was nearly catatonic; at the moment she's rattling along about why I should have sympathy for Sasuke instead of dissing him constantly). _Is she trying to make me owe her? _Do _I owe her? Dammit, of course I do...How the hell could I ever pay her back?_

"...and besides, how would you feel if your whole family had died?" Akuma goes on, giving me a disapproving look.

I look her in the eyes, glaring a bit. "_What_ family?"

"...Oh."

_That oughta shut her up for a while, _I think with satisfaction, trying to ignore the powerful sadness trying to rear its ugly head inside of me. For me family was my little brother and best friend, and both of them are long gone...

"Say, Mari?" Akuma asks softly.

Oh for fuck's sake. "Yeah, Akuma?" I answer tiredly, closing my eyes to suppress irritation.

"What...I mean, if you don't mind my asking..." Aw hell. "What happened...why are you on the run?" she asks, all timid and nervous.

I gave her my Glare of Death for a moment, but she didn't look away, or even flinch (probably used to such things from Tenshi). The subject of my past hadn't been breached at all in the last week, and I'd like to keep it that way.

"Oh don't look at me like that!" she whines. "I'm just concerned! Come on, please!"

She gives me this huge-eyed look of utmost despair, and I continue glaring. "It's really none of your business, man," I answer, trying to be cool, but to my horror, my voice cracks.

Akuma, of course, notices and apparently decides that gives her the right to ignore my words and press further. "It won't hurt anything, Mari, and I really am worried about you! I know you probably don't like to get close to people, but I consider you my friend and-"

"Alright alright _alright_!" I yelp, frantically waving one hand in her face in a desperate attempt to wave the words away, but the damage is already done. _I consider you my friend...friend...friend..._Those words will haunt me in my nightmares. "Just cool it with the touch-feely crap, wouldja!"

Akuma grins hugely, makes a small sound that I can only liken to that of an overly excited puppy, and proceeds to glomp the hell out of me.

"HEY! None of that, either!" I shout, trying to wiggle away (god_damn_ she's got a strong grip). I manage to slip an arm out and push her away. "I don't do hugs, man!"

She finally pulls back, giggling a little.

I give her a look of profound irritation as I contemplate what to tell her. "Well, you gotta understand," I start out slowly, stalling; "the social system is completely fucked. I mean, CPS-"

"Huh?"

"Child Protective Services."

"Oh."

"Practically all CPS does is get their nose involved in other people's business," I go on, that familiar anger burning in my blood. "After my parents...um, after they were out of the picture-"

"How?"

I give Akuma another Death Glare and she shrinks back a bit, but doesn't withdraw the question.

I look away, reaching up to grab my ear. "Mom ditched us for meth, then Dad went and offed himself," I say gruffly, sporting a poker face. "Couple of fucking losers, man." I decide immediately to completely exclude Kai from my story. Talking about The Royal Fuckups are one thing, but not Kai. Not in a million years.

Akuma gasps. "Oh my god..."

"Oh shut up," I snap immediately, not caring if she guts all hurt. "It happened years ago. I never gave half a shit about them anyways, man." I decided a while ago that if I tell myself that often enough, it'll start to become true. Turns out I was pretty much right. "Anyways, I lived on my own for a few months -wasn't so bad, I could've made it-"

"But, but, but...how did you pay the bills?"

I roll my eyes. "Food stamps and government handouts, honey. Your daddy probably pays for a big percentage of my meals," I go on nastily. "How'd you like to see how we peasants live, Rich Girl? I could show you around, how to slum it. Might be fun."

She somehow manages to completely ignore my hateful tone, insisting on sympathy. "Weren't you lonely?"

I shake my head. "Nah, I just hung out with my old friend, Joseph. She was pretty much on her own, too..."

"Your...old friend?"

I chuckle to myself. "That's another story. Anyways, I'm on the run because some nosy asshole found out and reported it, then I got switched around between a bunch of families for like six months, then I finally decided I'd had it and hit the road," I finish quickly. I don't want to think about those days. Images of schoolyard bullies and shadowy figures and fire and blood on the ground all run through my head in the span of a few seconds, even as I try my best to push them away with all my might. If I think about that shit I might start up with the nightmares again...

"...how old did you say you were?"

I give Akuma a weird look, but what harm could it do? "I'll turn fifteen this February."

Akuma frowns for few seconds, then gasps theatrically. "So you haven't had a home since you were _twelve?"_

Dammit, the ditz can perform math. I look away again. "So?"

"So no one should have to live that way!" She makes another move as if to hug me, although my glare stops her in her tracks. "I'm so sorry..."

"Look, I didn't ask for your pity!" I snap, suddenly pissed off. I jump to my feet, hands on my hips, glaring. "What right do you have, anyway, acting all sympathetic, with your fucking perfect life!"

Her mouth drops open, shocked.

I close my eyes tightly, scratching my head for a moment. Shit, I shouldn't have lost my temper.

I'm considering apologizing when I take another look at her, biting her lip, staring at me plaintively. For some reason the sight of her gets under my nerves and I turn around, stomping off. "Tenshi said she'll tell you when you can leave," I say shortly, slamming her door. I stomp off, at the moment pissed off at everything about Akuma, from her stupid naiveté to her stupid willingness to let Tenshi order her about. Does the girl not have any kind of backbone at all?

Anger fueled by alcohol and a now-pulsating headache, I slam the door of the obnoxiously-all-pink room Akuma assigned to me, then forcefully lock the door and force a chair under its handle for good measure. I take off my boots and hurl them at the wall so hard they leave black marks, then stomp off to the shower, making as much of a racket as possible as I consider throwing a huge, loud, five-year-old tantrum. I end up deciding against it on the grounds that come on, I'm almost fifteen, but I stay mad for hours, even as I watch the sky darken and the stars come out.

I turn over onto my side, glaring at the pink smiley-faced pillow in front of me. Anger burns in my bones, the constantly-burning fire that's been my companion for so long. Sometimes ignored, sometimes fading, but it never leaves me...me and anger are old friends. At the moment my anger is centered on Tenshi and Akuma. I picture both of their faces looking down on me, Tenshi with her cold, condescending Ice Queen look of smugness, Akuma with her nauseating _pity. _I can't _stand _pity.

My thoughts turn back to Tenshi, my blurry mind forgetting the confusing help she'd lent me earlier, focusing on everything I dislike about her. Something especially at the moment, having to do with Akuma, and my old life...something that's been lurking in the back of my mind since I mentioned Akuma to Tenshi when we were cleaning...

In my mind I can still hear Akuma's worried, soft tone of voice when she spoke to me about her family. She's so compassionate, so caring. Why? She owes me nothing. I'm a _runaway, _for fuck's sake, I'm like the very worst person ever to befriend! I'm the one everyone knows better than to trust! So why? And why would a person like _that, _be friends with someone like Tenshi, anyways? And...and...

The thought finally reveals itself: _Why does someone like her get a friend like that, when I've got no one?_

My throat starts to burn, but I snarl and it goes away quickly. I was never much of a crier. Not when I got beat as a smaller kid, only rarely over my parents, and then less and less over the years. The last time I can remember crying...I must've used up my entire lifetime's worth of tears that night. And since then, over almost two years and hundreds of miles, I haven't cried a single tear. I don't cry.

I. Don't. Cry.

Eventually I slip into a restless sleep, filled with nightmares of blood and screaming, running and fire.

Monday rolled around. I didn't go to school, telling Akuma that I didn't feel well. I took my brass knuckles, tied my hair back, gathered several necessary items, and ran through my plan of action. Then, around five PM, I took the car and was on my way to school. I was shuffling through my CDs when I heard something stir behind me. I glanced back, did a double take, jerked the wheel, slammed on the breaks, turned around, and yelled

"What the hell are you doing here?!"

Mari sat up. She glared at me.

"I . . ."

"Damn it! What the hell, you stupid brat?"

"Don't yell at me, man!" she flared up. "I just wanted to see those bitches get pummeled!"

"How idiotic can you possibly get?" I glanced at the clock. I had to get going now, else I wouldn't get there in time. I started the car up again as she climbed into the front seat.

"Damn, I was getting cramped back there..."

"Get in my way, and I will make you regret it."

"Are you going to burn my food again?" she asked sarcastically.

"Just stay in the car!"

"So," she obnoxiously crossed her legs and arms. "What's the plan?"

I ignored her. The road sped by. Soon, the school loomed into view, and I parked quickly. The rain hadn't bothered to lighten, and the school windows were dark. Everybody had gone home. I turned back to face the Brat. She actually looked mildly excited.

"Stay. Here." I said through gritted teeth.

"I'm not a dog, man."

"Sometimes, I wonder." I climbed out of the car before she could answer, and walked away as fast as I could. If I was lucky, and she was smart, she would run off and be out of my hair. Unfortunately, I wasn't lucky and she wasn't smart.

I snuck around to the back. I knew they were meeting in the courtyard, and I knew there should be about ten of them. Too many. Way too many for me to handle alone. I ran my hands over the objects I had brought. Finding a good vantage point on the first floor, I observed them, facing north. There were ten of them as planned, in a loose circle. Exits east and west, a gate north; no trees, ground was paved, slippery in the rain; they had flashlights, so their visibility would be impaired; I would have to be careful not to get the light in my eyes. I surveyed the members. Six looked green, shivering at their own daring, and would probably bolt. Three more looked a bit stronger-boys; they were the muscle. The last were the girls.

My only shot would be to split them up. Scare them, make them scatter, and go after them one at a time, from behind. A hit to the back of the knee, to the head, and if that fails, to the abdomen; I'd gone through this routine before. I just wished I had backup. If it was two on one, or three on one, I was dead meat. The girls, I wasn't worried about; the five rookies, either. I was counting on them running.

My hand brushed against the small of my back. If all else failed, I had a secret weapon.


	8. Fighting It Out

And, a second chapter! Review.

* * *

_Did she actually think I was going to listen?_

Of course I follow Tenshi as soon as she walks away, until she entered the school building. That was a bit puzzling, since she knew where they all were, but I decided to just hang back and see what she planned to do. I kind of wish she would've told me what that was, but oh well, I'll improvise.

I sneak around, closer to the courtyard where Team Rocket and their groupies are huddled, holding a flashlight to be able to see in the rain. What a bunch of tools. I feel the cold rain seeping through my shirt and shiver a bit; or is it from anticipation? Because I can feel a smile creeping onto my face, and as the adrenaline starts to course through my body I unconsciously give a slight lunge toward my soon-to-be-victims...

I shake my head. It's not time yet.

Now, I already know what you're thinking: _Mari, why don't you just run away right here and now?_

Excellent question. For one thing, this school is in the middle of nowhere. I did manage to get my hands on a map a few nights ago, and it confirmed my worst suspicions: even if it rains for hours on end, without a car, I'm toast. And of course, Tenshi took the keys with her. Right now I have a vague idea of picking the pockets of one of these idiots if I can knock them to the ground and keep them there, but there might be too many of them. But anyways, whether I end up getting a chance to escape or not, I really, _really _want to fight. I can feel that old fire burning through my veins, fed my adrenaline...And besides, this is the perfect opportunity to wipe the slate clean from the other day when Tenshi bailed me out.

Hmm...there's about ten of them. A few boys, team Rocket, and some other little skinny bitches. I wouldn't be at all worried, except I know I can't take all ten of them at once. I could try and get a few good hits in and then run like hell, but that would totally kill my whole steal-their-keys plan.

I bite my thumb. Shit. Looks like I'll have to wait for Tenshi to make her move; they'll be distracted by her, I'll just have to trust that she can hold her own, then jump in and do some damage.

I creep closer to them, silently, with the practiced air of someone who knows their ass is depending on it.

"...target has to be taken out completely. No excuses," says my old pal Kelly in a sharp, authoritarian voice.

"But...the police..." One of the nameless cronies protests.

"The police?" Another one of Team Rocket -what was it? Samantha? Sally? - laughs derisively. "My cousin is the chief of police. They can't touch us."

My heart starts thumping wildly. _It sounds like they're...planning to off someone._

Just then I see a figure, obscured by the darkness of the rainy day and largely ignored by the scheming group ahead of me, slinking toward them. If I shield my eyes from their flashlight and squint, I can recognize her.

_Aw, fuck waiting, it's time to party! _I decide, letting loose a huge grin, and catapult myself out of the trees toward my closest target -a guy, the one holding the flashlight.

I hit his legs and he loses his balance, falling on his back in the mud. I jump on him, holding him down with my weight. The flashlight falls to the ground and I grab it, wielding it as a weapon and smashing it into his face, relishing the sound of his nose breaking and his pathetic attempts to throw me off.

In the confusion of their only light source being gone, I hear other sounds; shouting, scuffling, cries of pain, and unfamiliar laughter. I know I'm laughing with exhilaration, even as someone (a guy I think) hauls me off of his friend and punches me in the stomach. The pain doesn't faze me and I kick him in the groin, then smash him so hard in the forehead with the flashlight that the glass breaks, cutting the skin on my hands. The pain doesn't bother me, it doesn't even register. For this moment, I'm on fire- consumed with it- I am burning- I am invincible.

Unfortunately for me, a fist comes flying out of nowhere, hits me in the cheekbone. I'm thrown off balance, stumbling back, and end up brawling it out with two of the remaining girls. I get sloppy and they manage to drag me to the ground, punching and scratching and shouting-

I push one off me and jump up, kicking a girl in the face as she tries to stand, and I look around wildly, trying to see the situation of the fight and _holy shit..._

Two of Team Rocket, three cronies and the boy I kicked in the nuts are still on the ground, but the rest of them are going after Tenshi...and she's still holding her own against them. I watch as she socks a guy in the throat and he falls down, starts to choke, and I can see her face as she fights. Grinning like a Cheshire cat, insane, with frenzied laughter exploding from her lips.

And for a split second, I'm sincerely glad we're on the same side.

After a moment I see her start to go down as the remaining four gang up on her, snapping me out of my stupor. With a loud roar I jump back into the fray, grabbing two of them by the hair and yanking them away from her, punching one of them wildly in the head.

Mistake. They throw me off and I hit the mud, my reflexes slowed by the injuries I've gotten so far, as I'm starting to tire out. I roll away from them into a crouch and stand up, only to get punched in the stomach, right in the sweet spot. The few seconds I spend trying to catch my breath earn me a punch in the forehead and a kick in the knee that makes my eyes water.

Panicking, I reach down toward the waistline of my pants and grab my pocketknife, flicking it open.

"Oh shit!" I see the girls attacking me start to back up, wide-eyed, but I'm leaving none of them standing and lunge toward her, a sick grin on my face. At the last second I decide to punch instead of slice and spin the knife around, hitting her in the eye with the blunt part and cutting my own hand, albeit shallowly.

I curse and rotate the blade for better use, turning to see who else wants to fuck with the infamous runaway Mari Hindrix**-**

And see Tenshi standing and looking at me, arms crossed, eyes narrowed.

I blink. Oh. Fight's over.

I close my knife and put it up.

"You idiot!" she hisses. "Would it have killed you to wait?"

"Hey, I just saved your ass!"

"How dumb are you? Ten versus two, with those odds, the smart thing to do is to split them up and take them down with blitz attacks! You can't just jump in like that, unless you're expecting backup! Idiot!"

"I . . ."

"Shut up. Not a word out of you." she growls. "I have things to take care of." She's actually really pissed off. She's a lot less cool and aloof than usual. Her eyes twitch, and her hands keep clenching and unclenching, like she can't stay still.

She ignores me and goes over to Kelly, who's lying on the ground. I can't remember which of us knocked her down. The bitch's got blood all over her face, and she tries to scramble back as Tenshi stalks over to her. Her eyes wander around, taking in all the remaining guys. The three girls are there, along with the boys, but the rookies had scrammed. Tenshi stands over the bitch, and slowly takes off her brass knuckles. The bitch at her feet twitches at her every move. I keep my eyes sharp in case any of them decide to take her on. For a moment, I'm confused. Why is she acting like the fight is over?

"You guys gave me a lot of trouble." she says. "I know I beat your friend up, but seriously, were you planning to kill me? That's pretty gutsy, coming from little rats."

"S-shut up! You started it! If you hadn't attacked Rebecca . . ." Kelly yells, gathering up her courage but her legs shake so badly she can't stand up.

"Oh please. You were planning this from the moment you got here. That's why you went after Dawn. You needed a quick way to get your obstacle out of the way. I can guess you heard rumors about me, and thought I could be bullied into letting you do whatever you wanted. Rebecca learned the hard way, that wasn't going to happen. Your name's Kelly, right? You were at J-M?"

"How do you know where . . ."

"I'm also guessing you haven't spoken to Rebecca since I jumped her. If you had, she would have told you." She glances back at me for a split second, and then turns her eyes back to the bitch at her feet. "Does the name 'Bloody Angie' mean anything to you?"

The effect on Kelly is radical. The blood completely drains from her face, and she scrambles back with a squeal. One of the other girls makes a run for it, but before she can get to the gate Tenshi pulls something out of the small of her back, aims, and a shot cracks through the air. Everybody, me included, freezes as I realize, she's got a motherfucking gun.

"Nobody move." She says. "That's one shot. I've got five bullets left. Whoever wants to get their brains blown out, step right up."

That's my gun. And judging by how close her shot was to the running girl, I can bet she knows how to use it.

Tenshi aims the gun back at Kelly, the grin wiped off her face. "I could kill you right now, and nobody would know it was me. That's how you planned to take me out, right? Lure me here, in the middle of nowhere, how were you going to do it? A gun? Were you planning on bashing my brains in with a baseball? You wouldn't have the guts for a knife, but anyone of you could have pushed me off the roof. So, knowing that, why shouldn't I pull the trigger?"

She's not going to do it, I think. There's no way. But that look on her face is dead serious, and I think Kelly believes her, but is too scared to do anything but quiver.

Then, the most sadistic smirk I have ever seen twists Tenshi's face. "I'm not completely without mercy. Say, why don't we let chance decide it?"

"What do you mean?" The words come out faint and squeaky.

"I want to play a game." She opens the chamber of the gun, and removes the bullets. She holds them up, held in between her fingers. "I have four bullets right here. There's one left." She spins the chamber. "Where is it?"

"Russian Roulette?"

"You got it. Here, I'll even go first." She puts the gun to her head. That's it, I have to do something.

"Hey, man, cut it out! If you're gonna shoot someone, shoot the bitch and let's get out of here!"

She ignores me. I see her finger hovering over the trigger. She squeezes. I hear a click.

"Would you look at that?" She sounds almost disappointed. "Okay, your turn." She aims the gun squarely at Kelly's head. She quivers, too scared to move, staring down the barrow of a gun held by a girl, I'm now convinced, is batshit crazy. "Ready?"

She pulls the trigger.

It clicks.

She puts the gun up.

With that, her grin disappears and she sends a death glare down at Kelly. "You're off the hook . . . for now. Take this as a warning. What I did to Rebecca, I will do to you. If you hurt Dawn I will, and this is not an empty threat, cut that squirming tongue out of your head and make sure your face is so messed up you can't show it in public. I will break your legs, and rip your fingernails off. And if any of your lackeys step out of line, I'm coming after you. I don't give a shit if you were involved or not, Dawn gets hurt, you pay. You messed with me, Bloody Angie, and I am _pissed_."

Kelly nods hurriedly.

"Good."

She turns around to leave, and I follow after a moment. Through the school, in the dark, I stay well clear of her until we get to the car. I hesitate to get in the car with her. She rolls the window down, and leans out.

"This is your chance. I can give you a ride to the nearest train station. I'll tell Pain you escaped."

Hmm, I wonder . . . should I get in a car with a girl who seemed totally willing to blow her brains out? . . . Makes about as much sense as anything else I do, I guess.

I get in, slamming the door behind me.

She starts the car and we take off. She drives for a couple of minutes, before reaching into her bag and dropping something heavy in my lap. I take a moment to realize it's the gun she stole from me, and used to almost blow her brains out.

"Shit man, be careful, the safety's not on!"

"Relax. Check the chamber."

I do it, and to my surprise, there aren't any bullets in there. I frown, and mentally run through it-she fired one, removed four, so there should be one left . . . Then it hits me. "You planned all of that?"

"Duh." She jams her foot down on the gas. She looks a bit jittery. "I'm not quite stupid enough to risk blowing my own brains out. Think a little."

"So you removed one bullet beforehand, knowing exactly how it would go down? But how did you know you would only need to fire one bullet?"

She shrugs. "Most people freeze when you show them you're serious."

"Did you do that before?" She doesn't answer. We spend the rest of the ride in silence, and I feel real jittery for some reason. My freedom is right around the corner; why am I not more excited? Instead, a ball of anxiety is curling in my stomach. It doesn't take us too long before Tenshi pulls up in front of the station.

"Security's pretty lax. You should be able to get a train out of here. Keep the gun, but you'll have to find bullets somewhere."

That's when I realize that she's planning on dumping me here, without money, a workable weapon, my stuff, or even a goddamned _coat_. I don't have my clothes, my backpack, or anything. Not that I couldn't steal stuff . . . but I suddenly, and a bit irrationally, get pissed off.

"What, that's it? At least give me the bullets!"

"No. Get out."

"Are you kicking me out?" I ask, incredulous.

"Yes. You know where the door is."

"Bitch! I'm not taking orders from you!"

"Yes you are. Honestly, you're more trouble than I want; you're a nuisance, in fact, and I'm tired of dealing with you. I already have the Akatsuki to manage, and that's already been a nightmare, you're giving me more stress than I want, and besides, you're always saying that you want to leave. Now, we can end this without Pein breathing down our necks, so why don't you do us both a favor, and _get out of the fucking car_."

I'm angry at her. What she's saying is logical, if insulting, but I'm way too pissed off to think rationally. What, did she think this was a walk in the park for me?

"Oh, _I'm_ trouble? _I'm_ a nuisance? You know what? If I bug you so much, why don't I stay right here? That way I can annoy the hell out of you, you cold-hearted, psychopathic, fat bitch!" I yell.

The blood drains from her face, and she glares at me, but I hold my ground. "Get out of the car, brat."

"No." A lifelong habit of defiance is making me stubborn; I'll leave when I damn well want to, on _my _terms, not because Ice Queen is sick of dealing with me. Besides, I want my stuff, dammit!

The adrenaline from the fight is still running through both of us, both of us irrationally pissed off at the other, and I can tell she's about to start swinging, so before I can, I shoot my mouth off one more time. "You're just pissed that I saved your ass from getting killed. That's what they were gonna do, and you know it!"

She freezes, and her face looks even whiter, cold fury holding her still. I go on: "You know what, you're a hypocrite, _Bloody Angie. _Obviously you don't care about Akuma that damn much, or you wouldn't be about to let yourself get killed-"

Tenshi lunges toward me, but before she can connect, the screaming sound of a siren fills the air. Distant red and blue lights reflect off the roof of the car.

She freezes. I jump toward the bottom of the car.

"Get the hell out of here, man!" I hiss.

"_You _get out of here, you little brat!" she hisses back.

"Fuck that!" I snap back. "Look, those bitches probably called the cops and they're looking for us! Just wait till they pass and then _drive!" _

"I'm not going anywhere until you_ get out of my car_!" She kicks me in the ribs. I snarl, breathing deep through the pain, but I've been through worse.

"I did not come all this way just to get caught because of your fucking superiority complex!"

"I don't give a shit!"

"You kick me out, and I'll get caught, man." I tell her, glaring. "And if I get caught, I'm taking you down with me."

She glares at me, and I glare at her back.

When I realize she's still deciding, I say in a low voice, "You try and kick me out, and I swear to God I'll kill you. I'm not giving up my freedom. Not for anything."

Her eyes narrow, but for a second I think I see something else in those cold grey eyes. Amusement at my threat? Recognition that I'm not bluffing? A plan for how she'd kill me before I could kill her?

The corner of her mouth twists up ever so slightly, the ghost of a smirk. "I'd like to see you try," she responds, but then she shifts gears and begins to drive off. "Stay down till I tell you the coast is clear, got it, brat?"

"Fine."


End file.
